<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>playing house by thewriterx</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29680299">playing house</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterx/pseuds/thewriterx'>thewriterx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Women's Soccer RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Marriage of Convenience, Mutual Pining, Queerplatonic Relationships, Weddings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:00:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>36,900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29680299</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterx/pseuds/thewriterx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Christen chuckles and pulls her shoulders up in a shrug. “But seriously, is that why you don’t go home as much? Because everyone keeps asking you when we’ll get together?”</p><p>Tobin thinks for a few seconds. “Not exclusively… them asking why I’m still single is a big part of it, too. I hate having to answer the same questions over and over again. I hate when they wanna set me up with some random lesbian girl they know… It’s really tiresome, I suppose”. She gives a wry smile. “And then I take you home with me and everybody asks if we’re together and when I say we’re not… well, you know what happens then”.</p><p>“Yeah… My extended family are the same… ‘Why won’t you date Tobin? She’s so lovely, she’s so sweet’”, Christen mimics.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tobin Heath/Christen Press</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>159</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>753</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Part I</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">January </span>
  </strong>
</p><p>“Don’t forget the dishwashing liquid. You always forget the dishwashing liquid”.</p><p>“Well, I wouldn’t need dishwashing liquid if you’d just let me use paper plates like I suggested months ago”.</p><p>Christen Press shakes her head and gives Tobin an exasperated look. “I can’t let you do that. If I let you do that, I’ll be the worst best friend ever”.</p><p>Tobin grins. “What’s the big deal? Paper plates are great”.</p><p>“Yes, for tailgate parties and children’s events. You’re turning thirty this year”.</p><p>“God, why you always gotta remind me that I’m getting old? Do I do that to you? No, never”.</p><p>Christen laughs and places a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “I’m just saying, you already go everywhere in sweatpants, sweatpants that don’t even have pockets and you re-watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine every weekend. If you give up on basic crockery; then you’ve officially given up on life”.</p><p>Tobin rolls her hazel tinted eyes and takes a bag of pretzels from the shelf. “What life?”</p><p>“Touché”. Christen takes the pretzels from Tobin’s shopping cart and puts it back.</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>“You can buy fruits and nuts if you’re looking for something to snack on”, the dark-haired woman says in a calm tone of voice, despite having her best friend staring at her with daggers in her eyes.</p><p>“You suck, dude”, Tobin says harmlessly and attempts to put the pretzels back in her cart but Christen intercepts.</p><p>“You already have kettle chips and cookies in there”, she warns.</p><p>Tobin scoffs, but starts pushing the cart along the snack food isle with a pleased Christen in tow. “You’re not allowed to come grocery shopping with me ever again”.</p><p>--</p><p>Christen hums along to a song playing on the radio as they pull out of the parking lot. Tobin’s focus is solely on the streets in front of her, but she does notice Christen curled up in the passenger seat of her car, scrolling through her phone.</p><p>“Do you have a wedding gift for Alex and Servando yet?”</p><p>“No, and before you go off on a tangent, I know the wedding is five days away, but I still have time”, Tobin says as she makes a turn.</p><p>“I can always put your name on my gift. We can say it’s from both of us and you can pay me back half the money it cost”, Christen suggests.</p><p>“That’s a great idea. What did you get them?”</p><p>Christen smiles, looking incredibly pleased with herself. “You know how they both can’t function without coffee, right?”</p><p>“Riiight?”</p><p>“Well, I got them an Italian espresso machine. Top of the range and it looks stunning”.</p><p>“Geez…”</p><p>“Well, I wanted to get them something I knew they’d like and use and I also may have gone over my budget a little bit and I need to make credit card payments, so are you gonna split it with me or…?”</p><p>Tobin gives a hearty laugh and shakes her head. “Yeah, why not? Saves me from having to go on the hunt for a decent gift and it protects your credit score”.</p><p>“Fantastic”, Christen says in her usual way where she places a little emphasis on the ‘c’ on end and it makes Tobin smile. Christen was kind of a dork, but they were best friends.</p><p>They were polar opposites, really.</p><p>Christen’s the uber-organized dermatologist with a spiritual side and the sick desire to do away with all the junk food she found in her best friend’s apartment. Tobin was the easy going, laid-back coach who just wants to lay on a couch with a cloudy lemonade in her one hand, a book in the other and The Great British Bake-Off playing on the television as white noise.</p><p>Christen liked structure and rigid rules and regulations. Tobin liked being spontaneous and living care-free.</p><p>On paper they should’ve never even been friends, but they were. They were best friends who have been there for each other through all the tough times. From high school angst and coming out to being apart for years while Christen studied at Stanford and Tobin was off traveling the world as a professional tennis player.</p><p>They still somehow managed to end up back in their city, back where it all started for them. And they picked right back up from where they were.</p><p>They were the other’s go-to person. They may not have liked the same things, but they had the same values. Family, friends and being fulfilled in what you do; those were the things they stood for and it was what made them love and respect one another.</p><p>“All our friends are married”, Tobin then says, completely out of the blue.</p><p>Christen glances over at her. “I know… I was thinking about it this morning on my way to work”.</p><p>“And obviously I’m happy for them, but…”</p><p>“Then there’s us?”, Christen finishes the thought. Tobin nods.</p><p>“Maybe we’re just meant to be alone forever”, the brunette says with a hollow smile that won’t reach her eyes.</p><p>“Yeah, maybe”, Christen concurs quietly.</p><p>“But on the plus side, free food and open bars right?”, Tobin jokes and hopes it lightens the mood a little bit.</p><p>“Gotta love a wedding”, Christen says as she turns and looks out the window.</p><p>--</p><p>Despite it being a bit rushed, a bit disorganized and a bit lonely, Tobin Heath loved her life. She was in love with the city of Portland, where she’s lived for over twenty years. Her job as a tennis coach was both fun and fulfilling and she had a loving family and a group of close friends she could always count on.</p><p>Her life was pretty much perfect. Except for romantic department.</p><p>She wasn’t a serial dater or anything, but she had been around the block a few times and each time it had ended horribly.</p><p>Once she was dumped because her girlfriend had gone to study in Europe and didn’t think they would ‘survive long distance’. Another time she was cheated on and that really messed her up and gave her trust issues. She wasn’t sure if she could ever trust another person so intimately again after that.</p><p>Then she decided to be single for a few years, getting into casual dalliances here and there but never getting involved in anything meaningful. She was looking for something more, but she never found it and after a few years it began to feel like looking was just waste of time. So she stopped.</p><p>All she had to show for years of swimming around in the dating pool was heartbreak, resentment, and a co-dependent relationship with her best friend of fifteen years, Christen Press. Because through all those bad relationships, the one constant in her life had been her over-bearing New-Age hippie best friend.</p><p> </p><p>Tobin carefully puts on the dark green blazer over the new white shirt she had on and then moves a few feet to the right to check herself out in Christen’s full length mirror. Although she hated the idea if having to walk around in heels for an entire day, she likes her outfit choice of a dark green suit with the tapered (flood pants as Christen calls them) trousers and crisp button up.</p><p>“Hurry up, ma’am, we’re gonna be late!”, she calls out and hopes Christen can actually hear her over the droning sound of her hairdryer or hair straightener or whatever it was she was busy with ten minutes ago when Tobin went to check up on her. “You can’t be late to a wedding; you’re not the bride”.</p><p>Tobin goes back to checking herself out in the mirror, making sure her tapered sleeves show off her black faced Rolex. She looks good and she knows it, too. Another quick hand though her honey brown hair and she’s ready.</p><p>“Seriously, Chris… We have to leave in like, five minutes or we’ll-”</p><p>Tobin stops because when she turns around, Christen’s a few feet away, body draped in a gorgeous jade colored gown, complete with golden jewelry. Her hair’s done up and it looks different, but pretty. So pretty, in fact, that Tobin finds herself at a loss for words. She’d been floored by her best friend’s beauty many times before, but sometimes she just looks so exquisite that even Tobin, who’s known her for fifteen years doesn’t know what to say.</p><p>“This isn’t too much, is it? It’s an evening wedding and Alex wants it to be a really glamourous event, but I feel like this is just a little too much”, she asks as she saunters over to the mirror and inspects herself.</p><p>“No, it’s great. You look really nice”, Tobin says earnestly and offers a polite smile. Maybe not the most articulate way to phrase a compliment, but it’s been said.</p><p>“Thanks, Tobs. You look nice as well. Even though you’re wearing flood pants”.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get out of here. We’ve got a wedding to go to, remember?”, Tobin jokes and walks towards the door. She opens it and motions for Christen to walk through. “After you”.</p><p>--</p><p>The thing about weddings is that it brings out everyone’s romantic side. You’re celebrating the union of two people who love each other so much that they want the world to know that they belong to each other now. Add in the friends and family who are all there to celebrate the love these people have for one another, an open bar and a wedding band that’s playing all the good late nineties love songs and you’ve got a mush-fest that even the biggest misanthrope would find kinda cute.</p><p>Tobin and Christen were far from being cynical old bitties who hate love; but they were jaded. They were tired of having to explain to friends and family why they were still single. And weddings were the perfect breeding ground for these sorts of questions.</p><p>Tobin was at the bar to fetch her and Christen another round of drinks, when she returns to their table, she finds Allie and her husband Jose at their table.</p><p>“Hey guys”, she says and hands Christen her flute with champagne before settling down in her seat.</p><p>The couple greet back in unison.</p><p>“Oh, look how cute you two are in your color coordinated outfits. Have you finally admitted that you’re in love with each other?”, Allie asks.</p><p>“What?”, Tobin asks and drinks every drop of her champagne in one go.</p><p>“We’re not together guys”, Christen clears up. “But we did decide on green together”.</p><p>“Oh, shoot, my bad”, Allie says and the other two women can see the bright blush forming on the blonde’s face.</p><p>“I mean, you’re not together, but you really should be”, Bati says and takes a sip from his scotch.</p><p>Tobin laughs awkwardly and Christen just smiles.</p><p>“I wanna go dance, baby”, Allie says and leans over to give her husband a kiss on the cheek.</p><p>“Whatever the missus wants, the missus gets”, he says jokingly, but grabs his wife by the hand and leads her to the dancefloor.</p><p>“How many are we on right now?”, Tobin asks without looking over at Christen, who was checking the integrity of her make-up in the reflective back of her spoon.</p><p>“Tonight or this week?”</p><p>“Just tonight”.</p><p>“Eight”.</p><p>Tobin’s eyes widen as she looks to her counterpart. “No way”.</p><p>“Allie and Bati just made it eight. Alex’s mom was first, plus the three I got earlier and your two from your first run to the bar”.</p><p>“Damn”.</p><p>“But we need four more to break the record”, Christen reminds her. “I’m about to go to the bathroom in a minute. Hopefully I run into a few overbearing aunties or something”.</p><p>“Rather you than me”, Tobin says and reaches into her jacket’s inside pocket to pick out her phone. She notices Christen shivering a little and she gets it; it was still in the heart of winter and even though the dress had long sleeves, Tobin knew it was still a little cold.</p><p>“You want my jacket?”, she asks as she leans over.</p><p>“Now that would really get the people talking”, Christen jokes.</p><p>“You know I like to stir the pot”.</p><p>“Which is weird because you hate cooking”, Christen says quickly.</p><p>“That was bad, Christen. That was really, freakin’ bad, even by your standards”, Tobin shrugs off her jacket. “Come on, put this on”. Christen relents and turns around so Tobin can drape her jacket over her shoulders. “That should be better”.</p><p>“If we don’t break the record now, we’re just idiots”, Christen laughs and relaxes into Tobin’s jacket, that smells just like her, unexpectedly floral, but really fresh and familiar.</p><p>“Hey y’all!”, a voice calls out and both Christen and Tobin look up and find Margaret Purce at their table.</p><p>“Hey”, Tobin greets happily, a smile beaming on her face. Christen has a more, subdued, reaction. She greets politely.</p><p>“Are you guys enjoying the wedding?”, the younger girl asks both of them, but her focus is on Tobin alone.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. It’s really nice… looks great”, Tobin says and manages a chuckle.</p><p>“<em>You</em> look great”, Margaret adds quickly.</p><p>“Thanks”, Tobin says and quickly glances over at Christen, who was eating a lavender colored macaron inconspicuously. “You look amazing, Marge”.</p><p>“If you’ll excuse me, I have to use the ladies’ room”, Christen says to no one in particular as she wipes her hands with the serviette.</p><p>Margaret waits for Christen to leave, before she turns back to Tobin. “Did you and Christen come together or?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, yeah… We thought it made sense”, Tobin says and nervously plays with her watch. “Going to a wedding alone is kinda sad…”</p><p>“I came here alone”, Margaret says and gives a lopsided smile.</p><p>“Crap, I didn’t mean it like that”, Tobin says quickly. The last thing she wants is to embarrass the younger woman, especially since they’re co-workers. “It was a dumb joke, I’m sorry”.</p><p>Margaret smiles and shows off her perfect smile and cute dimples. “You’re forgiven… if you ask me for a dance”.</p><p>Tobin clears her throat and scratches the back of her neck.  “I don’t dance”.</p><p>“Not even with a pretty girl?”</p><p>Tobin smiles.</p><p>“Come on, please?”, Margaret slips around the table and takes Tobin by the arm. “You called me sad, the least you can do is dance with me”.</p><p>“Alright, just one dance”, Tobin says and allows herself to by pulled up by the younger woman.</p><p> </p><p>Christen returns from the restroom, walking with one of Servando’s aunts by her side.</p><p>“My neighbor and friend Kathy has a very handsome son. And he’s a doctor!”, she says and slaps Christen’s shoulder. “He’s been single for a while now, but I think he’s ready to meet a nice young lady”.</p><p>Christen flashes the older woman a smile. “I'm sure he's very nice miss Elena, but I don’t date”.</p><p>“Oh no! Why not?”, the woman asks.</p><p>Christen doesn’t really know what to say. How can she explain to this perfect stranger she just met in the ladies’ room that every relationship that she’s ever been in has failed and that she is no longer interested in trying because it’ll just lead to more heartbreak.</p><p>“I work way too much and I have a lot of interests and hobbies that keep me occupied. I don’t have time to date”.</p><p>The older woman frowns. “A shame”, she says and gives Christen that sympathetic smile she always gets from her own family whenever she tells them that she’s still single. “Well, enjoy the rest of the evening, mija”.</p><p>Christen smiles and walks back to her table, only to find that Tobin isn’t there. She cranes her neck, looking for her best friend.</p><p>She spots her a few seconds later, on the dancefloor with Margaret, slow-dancing and laughing.</p><p>For some reason, seeing them together, in such close proximity, with Margaret’s hands splayed over Tobin’s back like that and Tobin seemingly staring into her eyes… makes Christen feel not quite right.</p><p>It’s not jealousy. It can’t be. She’s known Tobin for years and they’ve both been single for a long time… if they were gonna get together, it would’ve happened by now. It never did. They were both queer women who got on really well and had a shared history and loved each other, but it never led to more. That was a huge sign that both of them just wanted to be friends. </p><p>But seeing Tobin so happy in arms of another woman makes Christen feel weird. And she doesn’t understand why. And she needs a drink. A strong one.</p><p>--</p><p>“Why do I always feel like getting Chinese takeout every time I drink?”, Tobin asks as she follows Christen up the stairs.</p><p>“Because you’re a hungry drunk and the Chinese restaurant around the corner has the best lo mein”, Christen says and smiles. She unlocks the door to her apartment and closes behind Tobin.</p><p>“I’m so tired”, Tobin says and slumps down on the couch where Christen had already left her a pillow and comforter.</p><p>“Want some water? Or tea?”, Christen asks.</p><p>“Nah, I’m good”, Tobin says and starts unbuttoning her shirt.</p><p>“Well, if you’re all set here, I’m off to bed”.</p><p>“Yeah, you go to bed, I’ll be fine”, Tobin says and pulls her shirt off, exposing her toned upper body and the Calvin Klein sports bra she has on.</p><p>Christen trains her eyes to look at Tobin’s face rather than her impressive abs. “Goodnight”, she says and turns on her heel.</p><p>“See you in the morning”.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">February</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>“I threw a wish in the well, don’t ask me I’ll never tell. I look to you as it fell and now you’re in my way…”</em>
</p><p>“No singing in the car”, Christen warns and shoots Tobin a look.</p><p>“You just hate fun… You have a vendetta against fun”, Tobin bemoans harmlessly.</p><p>Christen smiles and turns the music down slightly.</p><p>“Hey, you know Margaret from work, right?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>Christen swallows deep. She’s not sure if she wants to hear this. “Um, yeah… We’ve met”.</p><p>“Well, she is engaged”.</p><p>“Oh”.</p><p>“Yeah, apparently she got back together with her ex and they’re really happy”.</p><p>“That’s great news… for her… for them”.</p><p>Tobin shrugs. “Yeah, I like her, I wish her all the happiness in the world”.</p><p>Christen clears her throat before she speaks. “I thought she had a little crush on you”.</p><p>The brunette laughs throatily.</p><p>“What? You didn’t notice?”, Christen asks.</p><p>“Oh, I noticed. I just didn’t think you did”. Tobin turns the music up.</p><p>“She wasn’t being subtle”. Christen sighs, almost as if she’s relieved. “But like you said, I hope it works out for her”.</p><p>“You know she’s like, twenty-three, right? And <em>she’s</em> engaged. We’re literally unmarriable”.</p><p>Christen can’t help but laugh at that.</p><p>--</p><p>“Would you like another helping of quinoa, Tobin?”, Stacy asks as she hold out the clay dish towards the brunette.</p><p>“I’m good, thank you. Everything looks so good, miss Stacy. I can’t wait to dig in”.</p><p>“It’s always a pleasure having you around for dinner. It’s so sad, I only cook for two now”, Stacy says and reaches for her glass of water.</p><p>“We are more than happy to come over every night and eat all your food”, Tobin says.</p><p>“I know you’re joking, but you’re more than welcome to”, Christen’s mother says with a smile.</p><p>“Maybe not every night. I do want my wife all to myself sometimes”, Cody says and leans over to give her a kiss on the cheek.</p><p>“Every time, they do this”, Christen says and shakes her head. “No kissing at the table”.</p><p>Her parents just laugh.</p><p>“Don’t mind Chris, she hates nice things”, Tobin jokes as she digs her fork into her quinoa.</p><p>--</p><p>“If these walls could talk…”</p><p>“They would say ‘how is Tobin still a child, it’s been twelve years since she graduated high school’”, Christen says as she carefully takes off her nude pumps and goes to lay down on the twin-sized bed.</p><p>“Do you remember when we used to do Cosmopolitan quizzes on your bed? When we tried to find out who our perfect man would be?”, Tobin asks as she paces around in Christen’s childhood bedroom.</p><p>Christen snickers. “Yeah… I can’t believe you took those quizzes knowing you were super gay”.</p><p>“Super gay, huh?”</p><p>“Yup”.</p><p>Tobin chuckles. “Remember when we read one of those Cosmo articles and we didn’t know what exactly a blowjob was?”</p><p>“Oh my God! I forget about that”, Christen says and joins in on the laughter. “And we were trying to figure out why it’s called a blowjob if you’re meant to suck it”.</p><p>“Oh, you’re meant to suck it?”, Tobin asks with a shit-eating grin on her face.</p><p>Christen rolls her eyes but gives a bashful smile. “You’re impossible”.</p><p>“But you love it”, Tobin says and joins Christen on the bed.</p><p>“Love is a strong word, but… I’ve put up with you for fifteen years, so you must be doing something right”.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re not tired of me yet”.</p><p>Christen leans across and rests her head on Tobin’s shoulder. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of you, Tobs”.</p><p>--</p><p>Christen breezes into the practice and is greeted by a smiling Mallory.</p><p>“Good morning, Doctor”, the young receptionist greets. “Happy Valentine’s Day”.</p><p>Christen stifles a laugh. “It’s Valentine’s Day? I hadn’t noticed”.</p><p>Mallory grins. “I know, I know. I overdid it with the decorations this year, but what can I say? I’m in love”.</p><p>Christen looks to the red and pink balloons that Mal has somehow affixed to the ceiling and the rose pedals she’s sprinkled in the waiting area and decides she gonna let it slide this year because she knows the young woman’s in a new relationship.</p><p>Christen walks over to the counter and picks out a heart-shaped candy from the little bowl. “My first appointment is in half an hour, right?”</p><p>“Yes”.</p><p>“Okay. Well let’s try to have a productive day today, despite all of this… crimson carnage ”, Christen says and gives a little wink.</p><p>“Is the good doctor expecting any flower deliveries today?”, Mal calls out after Christen as she walks down the hallway.</p><p>“Productive, Mal!”, she calls out, much to the amusement of her receptionist.</p><p>--</p><p>“Look at Doctor Press, working on a Saturday”, Tobin sing-songs as she skips into Christen’s office with a takeout bag.</p><p>The doctor looks up and smiles when she sees her best friend standing there with a dopey smile on her face.</p><p>“What happened out there? An explosion of balloons and craft paper?”</p><p>“Oh, it’s Valentine’s day. Let the kids have their fun”, Christen says as she gets out of her swivel chair. “Plus, my patients like it”.</p><p>“You help a lot of people today?”, Tobin asks as she places the paper bag on Christen’s desk.</p><p>“Yeah, we had three patients today. Young kids, one of them has second degree burns around her jaw and her neck and there's a fair bit of scarring, but looks like I can help her”.</p><p>“That’s amazing, Chris. I never get over how awesome you are for doing this”, Tobin says earnestly.</p><p>“I’m a doctor, I’m supposed to help people”.</p><p>“You don’t have to do all this <em>pro bono</em> work, Chris. You’re here every other Saturday, doing this outta the kindness of your heart. That’s pretty freakin’ awesome, dude”.</p><p>Christen smiles but decides to look inside the takeout bag instead. “When I said surprise me, I didn’t think you would bring me Lebanese food”.</p><p>“I remember when I came out as Lebanese”, Tobin jokes.</p><p>Christen snickers and shakes her head. “That was good. I rate that one”.</p><p>“Thank you, thank you. Sometimes the low hanging fruit’s the best”. She sighs. “Well, I gotta get going. I have plans tonight”, Tobin says and digs her hands into the front pockets of her jeans.</p><p>“Oh”. Christen places one of the containers of food on a clear space on her desk and tries to keep her face neutral.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s nothing really. One of the girls I coach is having a party and she invited me”.</p><p>“You coach kids”, Christen says and raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“Her parents invited me. It’s just a dinner party for her sixteenth birthday”, Tobin explains. “They’re really nice and they basically paid for my car with all the lessons I gave Jessie last year”.</p><p>“Oh, so this is your charity work?”, Christen asks and opens the bottle of vitamin water Tobin got her.</p><p>“Something like that”.</p><p>“Well, I hope you have fun”. Christen’s just relieved that Tobin wasn’t going on a date, because she wasn’t sure how she would’ve reacted.</p><p>“You too. I’ll check in on you tomorrow?”</p><p>“See you then”.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">March</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>Outside it was raining cats and dogs even though spring was supposed to be in the air. Christen’s curled up on a couch with a blanket, watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine at Tobin’s.</p><p>“You know, two men that I love… my dad and Raymond Holt”, Tobin says and reaches into the bowl of popcorn.</p><p>“Poor Jeff didn’t even make the top two?”, Christen jokes and drinks from her hot chocolate.</p><p>“I said men, not little brothers”.</p><p>Christen laughs and rests her head on her friend’s shoulder. “Dinner at my parents on Friday, remember?”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am”, Tobin says and shifts her head a little. “Your hair is getting in my mouth”.</p><p>Christen rolls her eyes and reaches up to loosen her top bun and allows her dark curls to fall down her shoulders. “Better?”, she asks and looks up to Tobin.</p><p>The brunette smiles and reaches to tuck some stray curls behind her ear. “Better”. She sighs. “This is nice, right?”</p><p>“Yeah… It’s nice not spending another night alone”, Christen says. “I feel like my apartment’s turning into a prison cell. I really could use more space”.</p><p>“You’re always welcome here”, Tobin offers. “I know it’s not much bigger, but it’s a change of scenery”.</p><p>“Thanks, Tobs, I appreciate it”.</p><p>Christen’s phone buzzes on the coffee table and Tobin reaches over to grab it and hand it to her.</p><p>“Hey, Alex. No, not at all. I’m just hanging out at Tobin’s. Oh, sure, I’ll put you on speaker”. She hits the speaker button. “Alright, Tobin can hear you now, too”.</p><p>“’Sup Al?”, Tobin calls out.</p><p>“You guys, I can’t have pretty news and I don’t wanna drag it out any longer… I’m pregnant!”, she says excitedly.</p><p>“What? Alex, that’s fantastic news. You… you’re pregnant. Congratulations”, Christen says.</p><p>“Yeah, Alex. It’s wonderful news. Congrats to you and Serv, you’re gonna be amazing parents”, Tobin says. She’s a little more subdued than Christen, who’s very excited by the news.</p><p>Christen and Alex chat for a few minutes, but then she explains that she still has a lot of people to call and says good night.</p><p>Tobin’s in the kitchen, cutting up fruit.</p><p>“Alex and Serv are gonna have a baby! That’s amazing… they really are just the perfect couple”, Christen says.</p><p>“Yeah… it’s great”, Tobin says without looking up.</p><p>“What’s wrong? You don’t seem happy for them”.</p><p>“Of course I’m happy for them”, Tobin answers back. “Children are such a blessing”.</p><p>“Exactly, you love babies, that’s why it’s weird that you’re not more excited”.</p><p>Tobin shrugs. “I <em>am</em> excited for them”. She finally looks up and gives a smile. “I made your favorite; a bowl of chopped up fruit”, she jokes and walks back over to the couch.</p><p>--</p><p>Tobin loves Christen and all their mutual friends, but sometimes she needs to hang out with other people. People who weren’t exactly part of that friendship group. People like Megan and Sue, who she knew from the club.</p><p>They’re in one of the restaurants at The Shady Oaks Country Club, having dinner. Tobin’s halfway through her duck confit when Megan asks, “So, Tobin, I know you swore off dating, but I have a friend from France and she’s only gonna be in town for a few days, I thought maybe you could show her around the city… maybe get some drinks”.</p><p>Tobin put down her knife and fork just to give Megan a blank stare.</p><p>“What? I’m not setting you up <em>per se</em>, I’m asking you for a favor”.</p><p>“If it’s your friend, why don’t <em>you</em> show her around the city?”, the brunette asks.</p><p>“She makes a good point”, Sue says with a shrug.</p><p>“Look, maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I can’t see how anyone would choose to be alone”.</p><p>“You <em>are</em> old-fashioned, not everybody feels the need to be defined through a relationship”, Sue says quickly, showing she’s on Tobin’s side.</p><p>“So then don’t have relationships. Have meaningless sex with hot girls you meet at a club, go to swinger’s parties; just do something with your life. You’re twenty-nine and you’re just giving up on ever finding happiness”.</p><p>Tobin shakes her head in disbelief. “I can be happy by myself”.</p><p>“Are you?”</p><p>--</p><p>“You can have the aux cord today”, Christen says and looks over to Tobin, who’s slumped in the passenger’s seat, staring out in front of her.</p><p>“S’okay… I’m not in the mood for music anyway”, she mumbles.</p><p>“What? You hate driving without music; something’s definitely wrong”, Christen teases.</p><p>Tobin doesn’t react.</p><p>“Alright... You gonna tell me what’s wrong or are you gonna say it’s nothing?”</p><p>“It’s nothing”.</p><p>Christen sighs and is thankful for the stop sign. She quickly reaches for her phone. "I know what'll cheer you up". </p><p>"I'm not sad".</p><p>"I'm still gonna play it".</p><p>
  <em>You with sad eyes, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t be discouraged, oh I realize </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s hard to take courage</em>
</p><p>Tobin does her best to keep her face neutral, but she has to look away so Christen doesn’t see her smile.</p><p>“I mean if True Colours can’t help… I don’t what else to do”, Christen says with a shrug.</p><p>“You’re an idiot”, Tobin says, but manages a chuckle.</p><p>Christen glances over at her, brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Just a little tired, I promise. Nothing’s wrong”, Tobin lies and fakes a smile.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a blessing in disguise that Christen’s parents love talking. It makes it easier for Tobin to be quiet during dinner. But the ever-perceptive Cody picks up on it and he asks her what the trouble is.</p><p>“I’m alright, I’m just a little tired. I had two training sessions today”.</p><p>“You shouldn’t over-exert yourself, Tobin”, Stacy says, a look of concern on her face.</p><p>“I keep telling her”, Christen says off-handedly. “She doesn’t listen”.</p><p>Tobin rolls her eyes at Christen. “Well, I’m sorry for my anti-social behavior tonight”, Tobin says and gives a small smile. “And thanks again for inviting me to dinner”.</p><p>“We love having you here”, Stacy says.</p><p>“You’re welcome anytime. You’re practically our fourth daughter”, Cody says with a beaming smile.</p><p>“Wow, that would make us sisters, wouldn’t it, Chris?”, Tobin jokes and nudges Christen’s shoulder with her own.</p><p>The doctor swallows deep and smiles awkwardly. Sister-zoned. That’s new.</p><p> </p><p>After dinner Christen goes outside and plays with Morena. Her building has a no-pets policy, so the only time she spends with her dog is when she’s visiting her parents. It definitely one of the reasons she has dinner with them once a month, every month.</p><p>Tobin asks Stacy if she can help clean up, but the older woman orders her to sit down and relax instead.</p><p>“Or better yet”, she says as she loads the dishwasher, “… go play outside with Christen. You love Morena as much as she does”.</p><p>Tobin laughs. “Yeah, you’re right. I should go see how my girl’s doing”. She’s halfway through the door when she turns around and says, “Morena, that is”.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you still growing girl? How are you so big?”, Tobin asks as she rolls around on the damp grass with the tan haired dog. The dog licks her forehead and then pins her to the ground. “Christen, help me!”, she calls out in a fake dramatic tone of voice.</p><p>“Come on, girl. Come here”, Christen calls out and the dog turns around and runs over to her.</p><p>“She’s a bundle of energy”, Tobin laughs and stands up.</p><p>“I wish I could have pets. I want dogs, I want Morena to come home with me”, the doctor says with a pout.</p><p>“I know… she’s a cutie”, Tobin says and walks over to where Christen was hunched over, scratching the dog’s belly. “But hey, maybe someday you’ll move to a place where you can have all the dogs you want”.</p><p>“Maybe”, Christen says.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">April</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>“I had way too much chocolate last week, I’m still buzzing from all that sugar”, Christen complains as she and Tobin stroll through the farmer’s market, on the hunt for seasonal veggies.</p><p>“Easter is all about Jesus… and chocolate bunnies”, Tobin jokes. “You really shouldn’t have tried my mom’s double chocolate brownies. You eat one, and you’re addicted”.</p><p>“I don’t care. I had a great time. Why don’t we visit your family more often?”, Christen asks.</p><p>“Because we had to put ninety dollars in the jar last weekend”, Tobin says with a sigh. “And by the way, We’re at almost seven hundred”.</p><p>“Really? We could go on a mini vacation with that money”, Christen says.</p><p>“Yeah, and then on that vacation we’ll have to start a new jar because everybody will ask if we’re together”.</p><p>Christen chuckles and pulls her shoulders up in a shrug. “But seriously, is that why you don’t go home as much? Because everyone keeps asking you when we’ll get together?”</p><p>Tobin thinks for a few seconds. “Not exclusively… them asking why I’m still single is a big part of it, too. I hate having to answer the same questions over and over again. I hate when they wanna set me up with some random lesbian girl they know… It’s really tiresome, I suppose”. She gives a wry smile. “And then I take you home with me and everybody asks if we’re together and when I say we’re not… well, you know what happens then”.</p><p>“Yeah… My extended family are the same… ‘Why won’t you date Tobin? She’s so lovely, she’s so sweet’”, Christen mimics.</p><p>“Yeah, my family are proper New Jersey… ‘Tobs, you gotta marry the doctor’”, she says in a terrible accent and bursts out with laughter along with Christen.</p><p>“We need to get eggplant”, Christen says once the laughter subsides.</p><p>“I don’t wanna eat the ‘lets-have-sex’ emoji”, Tobin says and gets look from Christen that just throws her into a fit of giggles again.</p><p>“You’re actually twelve years old, aren’t you?”, the green-eyed woman asks.</p><p>“It’s hard going through puberty”, Tobin says. “I wish you’d be more supportive”.</p><p>--</p><p>They eat dinner in a comfortable silence. Every now and then Tobin steals a glance over at Christen.</p><p>“What’s wrong now?”, she asks and Tobin just shrugs.</p><p>“Nothing!”</p><p>“You’re looking at me”.</p><p>“I always look at you”, Tobin counters and then takes a sip of water. She hopes that didn’t sound too weird.</p><p>Christen stifles a smile by biting her bottom lip. She shakes her head. “We’re good together, right?”, she asks.</p><p>Tobin is a little taken aback by the question, but she gives a nod. “Yeah…we’re good”.</p><p>“Can you imagine if we got together… like, all our problems would be solved”.</p><p>“Er, yeah… I think about it sometimes”, Tobin says and puts her fork and knife down. “Do you?”</p><p>“Think about us?”</p><p>“Yeah”</p><p>“I used to… but then I kinda stopped because I figured it wouldn’t happen”.</p><p>Tobin nods. “Same”.</p><p>Christen claps her hands together. “I am going to open another bottle of wine”, she says and gives an awkward chuckle.</p><p>Tobin scratches the back of her neck. “S-sounds good”.</p><p>--</p><p>“These are incredible results, Mrs Ortega”, Christen says and gently cups the older woman’s face with her gloved hands. “Your skin is perfectly clear, no sign of that pesky rash”.</p><p>“And it’s all thanks to you, Doctor. I’m eternally grateful”, she says.</p><p>“Just doing my job”, Christen says and smiles.</p><p>“I must admit, I’m going to miss coming in every week to see you. I’ve grown quite fond of you”.</p><p>“I’ll miss you, too Mrs Ortega, but as a medical professional, the less you see me, the better”.</p><p>“Oh, but you’re so sweet. You know, my son just got divorced…”</p><p>“Mrs Ortega, I-”</p><p>“And I don’t see a ring on your finger…”</p><p>“I’m gay”, Christen says quickly. She’s bisexual, but she just wants this conversation to be over.</p><p>“Oh.. I-I hadn’t realised. Well, my cousin is… she also likes girls. She’s eighteen, but she’s very mature for her age. I could give you her number… You seem like you could have a lot in common”, the older lady says and then gives a cheeky laugh. “A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be single”.</p><p>Christen gives a closed lip smile.</p><p>--</p><p>Tobin walks over to the couch with a glass of white wine for Christen and a beer for herself.“I feel like Captain Holt and Kevin are just… relationship goals. I know Amy and Jake are cute, but Holt and Kevin are just pure gay-dad energy that I-”</p><p>“Do you think we should get married?”</p><p>Tobin turns slowly, mouth slightly agape. “Uh… what?”</p><p>--</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Part II</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>“Do you think we should get married?”, Christen repeats.</p><p>“T-to each other?”</p><p>“Well, yeah”, Christen says with an amused look on her face.  “I know it’s sudden and random and weird, but… I’m tired of being single. I wanna be married”.</p><p>“To me?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>“Why not? We… we love each other and we want the same things, don’t we?”</p><p>Tobin nods slowly. “Yeah, we do. We love each other and we have want… I want kids”.</p><p>Christen is a little taken about by that admission, but she nods. “Yeah, I do too, at some point. And I want a house, a big house in the suburbs, with enough room for a dog or three”.</p><p>“Dogs are cool”, Tobin says blankly.</p><p>“We could live together. I’ll cook you dinner every night… you can be on my health insurance”.</p><p>“You do have good health insurance…”</p><p>“Right?”</p><p>Tobin shakes her head. “No, this is… very weird and I don’t understand it at all. We’re not dating each other… We’ve never even kissed. Does this mean that you <em>like</em> me?”</p><p>“No, no”, Christen quickly explains. “I love you as a friend and I trust you more than anyone else in the world and… I guess I just thought we could get married as friends”.</p><p>Tobin’s brow furrows together in a frown, the look of confusion still evident on her face. “So we’d be married but we wouldn’t be together?”</p><p>Christen gives an assured nod. “You’re my person, Tobin…and we can get married and be happy”.</p><p>Tobin searches for Christen’s eyes. She finds them and they’re practically sparkling. “So we’d just be married? And nothing changes between us? We’d still be best friends?”</p><p>“Yeah… We can sleep in different rooms and we don’t have to do anything romantic… But I’ll be your wife. I’ll be your plus-one to everything. I’ll wear your ring and everybody will know we belong to each other. No more trying to set us up…”</p><p>“No more questions about why we’re single.”</p><p>“Exactly. To the world we’d just be a regular old couple… You and I”, Christen offers a sincere smile. “I know it’s weird and I’m not expecting you to say yes, but just consider it. We can talk it through. We can figure out the inner workings of it together…”</p><p>Tobin nodded. “I don’t know what to say…”, she says and wipes her hands across her face a few times. “My head is actually, like, spinning right now”.</p><p>“I don’t expect you to make a decision right away”.</p><p>“Good, because I need time”, Tobin responds quickly. “I need time to think this over and…and I need time away from... us”.</p><p>“Of course… I understand. Take all the time you need, I’ll give you space”.</p><p>“Okay”, Tobin says and breathes a sigh of relief. “But I feel like I should go…right now”</p><p>“That makes sense”, Christen says with a stilted laugh. “This is a lot to process”</p><p>The brunette nods. “Yeah”. She looks over at Christen one more time. “I’m just gonna take a few days… You understand, right?”</p><p>“I do”, Christen says and internally berates her choice of words.</p><p>Tobin’s too shell-shocked to notice, blindingly reaching for her phone on the coffee table, which she drops onto the floor. She quickly retrieves it and says she’ll herself out.</p><p>--</p><p>They meet up again two days later at Christen’s apartment. It’s weird because for the first time in fifteen years, they feel self-conscious in the other’s presence. Christen had opened the door and greeted Tobin politely, but not a lot else had been said for the first few minutes. Just weird half-stares and unusual silence.</p><p> Tobin sits down on the couch next to Christen, but then she’s worried that their sitting too close together, so she moves a few inches. It just makes things more uncomfortable.</p><p>“Hi”, the brunette says even though they greeted each other when Christen opened the door.</p><p>“Hey”.</p><p>“So I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night… what you suggested”, Tobin plays with the string of her hoodie. She can’t look at Christen yet, if she looks at her it’s too real.</p><p>“And?” There’s slight hesitation in Christen’s voice, but the overall tone is one of nervous anticipation.</p><p>“And I wanna do it. I want to marry you”. Her gaze only lifts after she’s said this.</p><p>It’s so quiet that Christen can hear her own heart thumping in her chest. She wants to say something, but she just can’t come up with words. And even if she had words, they wouldn’t be adequate. Nothing she could come up with in this moment would be adequate.</p><p>“Aren’t you gonna… you know, say something? I feel like you need to say something next”. Tobin’s eyes soften a bit as she tries to gauge her friend’s reaction.</p><p>Christen shakes her head and then gives a lopsided smile. “We’re actually gonna do this…”</p><p>Tobin nods. “Yeah… we are”. She reaches into the back pocket of her jeans and reveals a folded-up piece of paper. “I made a list of things we need to straighten out before we make any solid plans”.</p><p>“Oh wow, you made a list? Since when are you organized?”, Christen manages to joke even though her heart’s basically in her throat.</p><p>“The minute I realized I could actually become someone’s wife”, Tobin says and unfolds the piece of paper. “So, um, first is the living arrangements. You said you wanted a house and I agree. We should buy a house. It makes the most sense financially seeing as we won’t have to pay for two separate apartments”.</p><p>“So we’ll get a house, great”, Christen says.</p><p>Tobin let out another low breath. “Then there’s the issue of kids. I want them. I want a baby and I wanna raise the baby and be a mom and… I just really want kids”.</p><p>Tobin’s enthusiasm makes Christen smile. “I also want children, but maybe we should see how the whole marriage thing works out before we think about adding kids”.</p><p>“I agree, I agree. We can wait a couple of years…”</p><p>Christen has a small smile on her lips. “What else you got on that list of yours?”, she asks.</p><p>Tobin scratches the back of her neck. “Well, this is kinda weird, but… How are we gonna… you know, deal with sex?”</p><p>Christen’s eyes widen.</p><p>“I mean, we’ll be married to each other, but we won’t have sex so… what happens when one of us has certain… urges?”</p><p>Christen could feel her ears warming and she notices that Tobin was sporting a little blush of her own.</p><p>“We could have an open marriage…”</p><p>“I guess”, Tobin says.</p><p>“It was just a suggestion, Tobs. It’s not that I wanna do it that way”, Christen quickly explains. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to sleep with anyone whilst being married to Tobin. It would feel like cheating… plus the thought of Tobin with other women has always made her uncomfortable for reasons she still couldn’t explain. “I can take care of myself in that department”.</p><p>“Forever?”</p><p>“Yeah”. Christen crosses her arms to her chest. “I mean, I want the companionship and security that comes with marriage. The rest I can do by myself”.</p><p>“Well, we can see how it goes for the first few months and then revisit this one”, Tobin notes quietly. “And if either of us feel like it’s not working, we could consider an… open marriage”.</p><p>“I can work with that”, the green-eyed woman says and offers her first relaxed smile of the afternoon.</p><p>Tobin relaxes a bit more, too. “So is there anything you wanted to discuss? Things you wanna set straight?”</p><p>“Well, I didn’t write out a list”, she jokes and gets an eyeroll from Tobin. “But I did type out a few things I thought we need to iron out”.</p><p>Tobin scoffs in disbelief. “You jerk, you made fun of me for making a list and you also have one?”</p><p>Christen smirks and reaches to the coffee table for the sheet of paper. “We already talked about houses and babies… but have a look through this and let me know what you wanna discuss first”.</p><p>Tobin takes the piece of paper and allows her eyes to travel up and down the page.</p>
<ul>
<li><em>Living Arrangements (incl. sleeping arrangements, budget, how bills will be split)</em></li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li><em>Children – after three years? Adoption? IVF? How many? (two)</em></li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li><em>Prenup (non-negotiable)</em></li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li><em>Dealing with friends and family (they don’t need to know everything)</em></li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li><em>Pets? (preferably dogs)</em></li>
</ul><p> </p><p> </p>
<ul>
<li><em>Wedding? Get a marriage license and get married at court!</em></li>
</ul><p> </p><p>“Interesting…”</p><p>“Is it okay? Those are just suggestions”, Christen says quickly. “I don’t expect you to just go along with whatever I say. We’re fifty-fifty in this; we’re partners”.</p><p>“Partners; I like that”, Tobin says and offers a genuinely happy smile.</p><p>--</p><p>Before either woman could register, it had gone dark outside. Christen orders a pizza and they share that and a bottle of wine as they talk about their impending nuptials.</p><p>“Are we keeping our maiden names?”, Tobin asks in between bits of the pepperoni pizza.</p><p>“We could hyphenate. Heath-Press doesn’t sound too bad”.</p><p>Tobin scoffs. “That sounds like something you would put on a muscle injury. If we’re gonna hyphenate, it has to be Press-Heath”.</p><p>“Dr Christen Press-Heath… Sounds good”.</p><p>“But not as good as Tobin Powell Press-Heath”, the brunette says and crosses her arms. “Rolls right off the tongue”.</p><p>Christen sighs into her wine glass as she takes a sip. “You’re such a dork”.</p><p>Tobin shrugs. “A dork you wanna marry… You’re gonna be Mrs Dork”.</p><p>But instead of rolling her eyes or telling Tobin that she’s not as funny as she thinks she is, Christen’s face turns stern. “Are you sure you wanna do this? I mean, is this really what you want?”</p><p>“Of course I do… I’ve wanted this for a long time… Not with you, I mean”, Tobin says and she immediately regrets the way it came out. “I meant that… that I never thought I’d find the right person… And it turns out she’s been here the whole time… policing my calorie intake”, she says and smiles. She reaches for Christen’s hand. “I want to marry you”.</p><p>Christen tries to ignore the sudden flutters in her stomach and internally she blames the wine, but she knows it’s something else. Something more.</p><p>“I wanna marry you, too, Tobin. I just don’t want this to ruin our friendship… What if it doesn’t work out and we end up hating each other?”</p><p>“That’s never gonna happen”, Tobin assures, still holding Christen’s hand in hers. “It’s us, Chris… we always find a way to make each other happy”.</p><p>Christen nods and watches as Tobin thumbs circles on the back of her hand.</p><p>Why does this feel like everything she’s ever wanted? Christen thinks.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">May</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>“What if your parents don’t buy it?”, Tobin asks as they’re driving out to Christen’s parents’ house for their monthly family dinner. “What if they don’t approve of us getting married?”</p><p>“They won’t disapprove, they love you”.</p><p>“They loved me when they knew I wasn’t banging their daughter”.</p><p>Christen snickers. “You’re not <em>banging</em> me”.</p><p>“But they’re gonna think I am”. Tobin fixes the collar of her shirt in the mirror. “This is so stressful”.</p><p>Christen sighs. “Just let me do the talking, okay? I know how to handle my parents”.</p><p>Tobin waits a beat before she answers. “Okay, but if your dad asks why I didn’t ask for his blessing to marry you, I’m gonna tell him <em>you</em> said I didn’t have to”.</p><p>“It’s not the 1940’s, women have agency. I don’t need my father’s permission”.</p><p>“I said blessing, not permission”.</p><p>“Just let me do the talking, please?”</p><p>Tobin lets out a breath and then undoes the top button of her shirt.</p><p>“Stop fiddling with your shirt, everything’s gonna be okay”, Christen reassures her. She can’t exactly take her eyes off the road, so she places a hand on Tobin’s knee and gives it a quick squeeze.</p><p>The contact just makes Tobin more edgy. She looks down at Christen’s slender hand on her knee. All the innocent touches between them were now filled with a strangely charged tension Tobin didn’t have a name for.</p><p>“Maybe I’ll just button it up”, she says and does the top button again.</p><p>--</p><p>Christen’s younger sister, Tyler is there tonight. She works in California and only flies out to Portland a few times a year. Most of the evening revolves around her, which works for Tobin, who’s secretly terrified at the prospect of the Press family finding out about her and Christen’s engagement. They had become like her family, too. It would be so devastating if they were against this union. Tobin couldn’t bear the thought of it.</p><p>It hadn’t been a traditional engagement. Technically no one proposed and there weren’t any rings, but they made a promise to marriage each other so it constituted some type of engagement.</p><p>There’s a lull in the conversation and Tobin hears Christen clear her throat.</p><p>“Mom, Dad… Tobin and I are getting married”, she simply says and goes back to cutting through her salmon like she hadn’t just released a bolt from the blue.</p><p>“What?”, Stacy asks and puts down her cutlery.</p><p>“We’re engaged”, Christen says. “We’re getting married late summer, maybe early fall”.</p><p>“Wait, but… you’re not… Are you two together?”, Cody asks.</p><p>“We are”, Christen answers a little too quickly.</p><p>“You said you weren’t... I’ve been asking for the last five years and you’ve both always said that you’re just friends”, Stacy notes.</p><p>“Mom, Tobin and I love each other and we’re ready to take the next step in our relationship”.</p><p>There’s a pregnant pause at the table.</p><p>“Well, congratulations. I think this is pretty awesome”, Tyler finally says.  </p><p>“Thanks, Tyler”, Christen says softly.</p><p>“Christen, you have to understand that this is very sudden”, Stacy says. “You just spring this on us… we didn’t even know you were dating or that it was this serious”.</p><p>“We’ve been talking about getting married for a long time, mom. Now just felt like the right time. The practice is doing well, Tobin’s got a good job…”</p><p>“Well I think this is fantastic news!”, Cody says and pushes his chair back. He walks from his side of the dining room table and hugs Christen and then Tobin. “I always thought you two would make a lovely couple. Congratulations”.</p><p>“Thank you, dad”, Christen says and places a hand on top of Tobin’s.</p><p>“Oh, sweetie. I’m happy, too. It was just a bit of a surprise, that’s all”, Stacy says and reaches across the table to give Christen’s hand a squeeze.</p><p>“I know, mom. Your support means the world to us”.</p><p>Stacy comes over and hugs both women.</p><p>“Tobin, you’re awfully quiet”, Tyler says.</p><p>“Oh, you know… I let Chris take the lead tonight. I’ll be the one telling my family”, she says quickly.</p><p>“Jeff and Cindy don’t know yet?”, Stacy asks with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“We want to tell them in person, too. We’re driving out to Salem this weekend”, Tobin says.</p><p>“That sounds so romantic all of a sudden”, Stacy says and sighs. “I still can’t believe you two are engaged. Oh my goodness! I haven’t even seen the ring yet”.</p><p>Tobin chuckles nervously. “We don’t have engagement rings. We’re just getting wedding bands”.</p><p>“That’s sweet”, Tyler says. “And what about the wedding? Do you have any ideas yet? I know you said fall wedding, so I’m thinking pumpkins, mason jars… are you going to get married in a barn?”</p><p>“What?! No, no… we’re not gonna have big ceremony. We’ve decided that we’re gonna get the marriage license and just get married at court”, Christen says and takes a sip of wine.</p><p>“You’re not gonna have a wedding?”, Stacy asks, her face immediately dropping.</p><p>“We’ll have an intimate get-together afterwards. For close family and friends”, Christen explains.</p><p>“If that’s… what you want, we’ll support it”, Stacy says and smiles. “I’m going to get dessert”, she says and gracefully leaves the table.</p><p> </p><p>After dinner, Christen, Tobin and Tyler are all in the family room; Christen's playing with Morena and the other two women are throwing darts.</p><p>“Tobin”, Cody calls out. He’s standing outside on the wooden deck overlooking the backyard. “Come here for a second”.</p><p>“That’s his serious voice… you’re in trouble”, Tyler says and gives Tobin a nudge in the back.</p><p>“Oh boy”. Tobin smooths over her sweater and walks outside. Cody asks her to close the sliding door behind her.</p><p>“Tobin, we need to talk… just the two of us”.</p><p>“Of course, Cody… What’s on your mind?”, Tobin asks, hoping her false bravado can hold for the whole of this conversation.</p><p>“I’ll be honest with you, I’ve always wanted Christen to end up with someone like you. Someone who loves her, respects her… I know you’re gonna be a good wife to my daughter”.</p><p>Tobin swallows down a lump that had formed in her throat. “Thank you, sir. I… I love Christen a lot and I’ll do anything and everything to make her happy”.</p><p>“I’m so glad you said that”. The man stares down at Tobin with intent. “You’re not going to marry my daughter in some registry office, are you? That’s my princess”.</p><p>Tobin swallows and nods. “I know, but Chris was adamant that she didn’t wanna make a big fuss and-”</p><p>“Won’t you just try and make her reconsider? I know deep down Christen wants a big wedding. That girl loves weddings”.</p><p>“I know”, Tobin laughs. “I’ll try, Cody, but I can’t make any promises”.</p><p>“That’s all I ask”, he says and gives a broad smile. “And if you need any money or-”</p><p>“We should have it covered, it’s fine”, Tobin says quickly.</p><p>“But if you don’t… you know where to find me”, he says and places a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “Thank you”</p><p>“My pleasure, but I’m not sure why you’re thanking me”, Tobin says with a laugh.</p><p>“For marrying Christen… It’s a great comfort knowing my daughter is marrying someone who cares about her as much as you do”.</p><p>Tobin gives a small nod. “I just wanna make Christen happy”.</p><p>--</p><p>Christen and Tobin tell their friends about their engagement once they get back from Salem. Both their families had taken the news well, despite both their moms feeling a bit confused about the fact that they constantly denied dating, only to show up and drop the bombshell of an engagement. But like Stacy, Cindy had been happy and excited when she got over the initial shock. All of Tobin’s family already really loved Christen, so they were delighted by the news.</p><p>The real fuss came from their friends. Since they mostly had the same friends (barring a few friends Christen made while she was at Stanford and the some of Tobin’s co-workers), it was easy to get everyone on a Zoom call and tell them about the engagement.</p><p>Allie and Bati were excited, but couldn’t help throwing in a ‘we knew you two would end up together’ just to show why they were known as the group’s know-it-all couple.</p><p>Ali and Ashlyn were even more excited because they had a bet going on that Tobin and Christen were already dating in secret and now Ali had to pay up.</p><p>They couldn’t tell them that they weren’t actually dating, because that would raise too many questions. <em>Why are you getting married if you’re not really together? Why would you willingly enter this sort of arrangement? Are you just getting married for tax benefits? </em>These weren’t questions Tobin or Christen wanted to answer, so they played along.</p><p>They told their friends that they had been dating in secret for ten months and that they were now ready to tell the world, so to speak.</p><p>“We just wanted to keep our love story confidential”, Tobin had said. Christen nodded in agreement.</p><p>Alex was the most excited out of all of their friends. She had been their oldest friend and had often tried to get them to admit their feelings for one another. She was more devastated than Tobin when she heard that Christen was going to school in California. She always made sure the two stayed in touch.</p><p>And even when they were dating other people or separated by hundreds of miles, even when they hadn’t shown any interest in the other romantically, Alex always believed they would end up together.</p><p>It felt like a major victory for the raven-haired woman and she wanted her friends to have the full wedding experience, despite them stating that they didn’t want anyone to make a big fuss about it.</p><p>“Of course it’s a big deal! Two of my favourite people in the world are getting married to each other… Two people who I’ve shipped for almost half of my life!”, she said on the Zoom call. “At least let me throw you a small and intimate dinner”.</p><p> </p><p>Now, two weeks on from that fateful Zoom call, Tobin and Christen were getting ready to go to dinner with their friends. Alex had promised it would be an understated evening with just their closest friends there to celebrate their engagement.</p><p>“Should we get an uber since we’re probably gonna drink tonight?”, Tobin asks as she applies face cream in Christen’s make-up mirror. She had a late training session, so she figured she’d just get ready at Christen’s apartment.</p><p>“Maybe I won’t drink, I don’t know…”, Christen says absentmindedly as she looks through her closet for something to wear. She stops at a short, black number that still had its tags on.</p><p>“We should take an uber, just to be safe”, Tobin says, then looks over her shoulder when Christen doesn’t answer. “Are you even listening to me?”</p><p>“Sorry, but I’m having a hard time choosing a dress”, Christen says and holds two similar looking black dresses. “Which one should I go with?”</p><p>“They’re exactly the same”, Tobin says with a confused smile on her face.</p><p>“Well, gee, thanks for that insight”, Christen jokingly grumbles.</p><p>Tobin scoffs and walks over to where Christen is stood. She takes both dresses from her hands, gives them a quick onceover, and then tosses both on the bed.</p><p>“So not those then”, Christen mutters.</p><p>“Why don’t you let me pick you outfit for tonight?”, the brunette asks with her eyebrow slightly arched.</p><p>Christen doesn’t know why, but she feels her face heat up, not only at the look Tobin gives her, but at the thought of leaving the decision of what she should wear in the hands of someone else. It feels strangely intimate and she all of a sudden feels naked standing there in her silk robe that only reaches the very top of her knees. She’s suddenly so aware that she only has panties on underneath said robe and that Tobin’s standing only three inches away.</p><p>“A-are you sure you can pick out something I’d like?”, she manages to tease.</p><p>“Of course, I know what you like”, Tobin says and turns to face the wardrobe. Her fingers dance over the different dresses in Christen’s closet and she stops at a scarlet red slip dress. The fabric feels soft and cool and Tobin thinks it might be either silk or satin. She’s never seen Christen in anything like this, never thought she’d own anything like this… but it’s piqued her interest and she wants to see her in it now. She removes the hanger from the rack and holds the dress out to Christen. “This one”, she says sounding a little unsure of herself.</p><p>Christen’s pale green eyes widen at the Tobin’s choice. It was an impulse buy from a year back. She had seen the dress and thought it looked good on the mannequin at the store. But when she tried it on at home, it looked more like lingerie than anything she’d wear out in public.</p><p>“Why this specific dress?”, she asks as she gives the garment in her hands another look.</p><p>“I don’t know… you never, you know, you don’t… wear a lot of red and I think you’d look nice in red”, Tobin stammers. “You don’t have to wear it, but…”</p><p>“It’s okay”, Christen says and offers a smile. “I’ll try it on… for you”.</p><p>She’s off to the bathroom before Tobin can say anything else. She just has to take a deep breath and try and compose herself. That interaction was so charged… so unlike anything she’s ever experienced with Christen.</p><p>Sure, there had been times in the past when Christen’s looked at her a certain way or when Christen’s hand lingered on her arm for a few seconds too long, but it never made her feel like this. It never made her palms sweaty or made her feel like she hadn’t had a drop of water in a decade.</p><p>She tries to focus on her own appearance, choosing to tuck her black polo shirt into her black jeans before putting on black and white Jordan 1’s. She’s just about to throw on her jacket, when Christen walks out of the bathroom in the reddest, shortest, spaghetti strap dress she’s ever seen. It hugs her body perfectly, pulling up slightly around the thighs which suggests that it may be just a little too tight around her hips.</p><p>“So? What do you think?”, Christen asks.</p><p>“Wow”, Tobin says and lets out an astonished chuckle. “It’s very…revealing”.</p><p>Christen knows she probably blushing and she hates the way her body reacts to every little thing Tobin says or every little look she gives her.</p><p>“B-but I like it”, the brunette adds quickly.</p><p>Christen pads over to the mirror and inspects herself. Tobin’s right; it’s <em>very</em> revealing… but she likes it. It’s bold and fun and it leaves Tobin flustered, which she finds rather funny.</p><p>“I’m gonna wear it”, she says confidently and spins around to face Tobin, whose gaze had dipped considerately while Christen’s back was turned. “Thanks for choosing this dress for me”.</p><p>Tobin smiles awkwardly and looks away; she’s really going to have to deal with <em>this</em> for the rest of the night.</p><p>--</p><p>It was just supposed to be dinner with friends at a restaurant everybody loved, but Alex loved being extra, so she had secretly planned a big engagement party, inviting a few other people Christen and Tobin knew and booking a private dining room at one of the city’s best restaurants.</p><p>“Holy fucking shit, Christen… I can totally see why Tobin would wanna lock you down. You look great”, Ashlyn says as she goes in to hug the doctor. “And you look nice as well, Tobin”, she teases.</p><p>“We’re sorry we’re late, we just wanted to make sure they baby was asleep before we left”, Ali explains.</p><p>“No worries, you only missed the part where we were bombarded with hugs and congratulations from everybody”, Christen says.</p><p>“Then I’m sure our congratulations mean nothing to you at this point”, Ali laughs. “But seriously, you guys deserve all the happiness in the world and I love you both so much and wish you all the best… years of happiness and say anything else I’m gonna start crying…”.</p><p>“We’ve all shipped you two for years”, Ash interjects when she sees her wife getting emotional. “And it’s weird ‘cos you guys have been acting like a married couple since I first met you and now you’re actually getting married”.</p><p>Tobin and Christen exchange looks.</p><p>“What do you mean we’ve <em>acted</em> like a married couple?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>“Oh, well… you run errands together, you have inside jokes… Hell, you were more of a couple than me and Ali”.</p><p>“She’s got a point”, Ali confirms. “You two are just so perfect for each other… It’s like you’ve always been married”.</p><p>“Yeah… I guess”, Christen says softly.</p><p>--</p><p>Alex had even gone as far as inviting Megan and Sue, who she didn’t know all that well, but who were friends of Tobin’s. While Christen and Sue were busy catching up, Megan pulls Tobin to the side.</p><p>“You told me your engagement wasn’t a big deal and yet…”, Megan says and motions around the opulent dining room.</p><p>“This was all Alex. Christen and I didn’t plan this, we’re not making a big fuss”, Tobin says and takes a sip of champagne.</p><p>“Tobs, you gotta admit, this is all very sudden”, Megan says. “And I don’t mean this in an offensive or in a I-wanna-start-shit kinda way…”</p><p>Tobin shakes her head. “It’s not sudden… Christen and I have known each other for years and we’ve always been close, we’ve always loved each other”. Nothing she was saying was a lie, it had just been phrased carefully.</p><p>“Not too long ago you told me that you can be happy all by yourself and here you are, getting married… conveniently to your best friend as well”.</p><p>“What are you trying to say Megan?”, Tobin asks in a slightly raised voice.</p><p>The other woman holds her hands up. “Nothing… nothing at all”.</p><p>Tobin exhales a sharp breath. “Can you just be happy for us? For me? I’m marrying a wonderful woman and I just want my friends to be excited with me”.</p><p>“You’re right, I’m sorry”, Megan says and places a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “I am happy for you. You know I’ve always wanted you to find someone and I know you and Christen are gonna make each other very happy”.</p><p>“Thanks”, Tobin says. “If you’d excuse me, my fiancée is calling”. Tobin walks to the other side of the room, where Christen was standing, glass in hand.</p><p>“Hey”, the brunette greets.</p><p>“Hi”, Christen says back and then sighs. “This is a lot…”</p><p>“Yeah… Are you okay?”, she asks.</p><p>“I am, but I’m not sure how much more of this I can take… I want a marriage, not all of this”, the doctor says and takes a sip of her cocktail. “I hate being the center of attention”.</p><p>“Well, you can’t help but grab everyone’s attention looking like that”, Tobin mumbles and allows her eyes to travel down Christen’s frame. The dress, the black stilettos, the red lipstick she never wears but that looks so good on her. For the first time in a long time, Christen didn’t look like Christen to Tobin. It was like when they reconnected four years ago when Christen came back to Portland.</p><p>Alex had invited both of them out for drinks and they were eager to see each other again. Christen had arrived in tight jeans and a crop top, with her hair draped over her one shoulder. She looked a little bit older than the recent pictures Tobin had seen of her, but she was so beautiful. She didn’t look like her best friend then and she didn’t look like her now.</p><p>“I like this bold look… I think I’m gonna stick with it for a little bit”, Christen says and sips on her drink.</p><p>“Then I’m gonna have to fight off a lot of horny dudes from hitting on my wife”, Tobin says, still a little distracted by her fiancée’s gorgeous, smooth legs.</p><p>Christen laughs and grabs Tobin by the hand. “Let’s get back to the party, yeah?”</p><p>Tobin gives a nod. In this moment she would do anything Christen asked of her. It was kind of scary how willing she was to do whatever her fiancée asked. If this was going to be the way their marriage functioned, she was in a lot of trouble. Scratch that, Tobin thinks as she lets Christen lead her back to the party, <em>she’s gonna be a lot of trouble.</em></p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">June</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>“Christen, don’t you think we should just have a wedding ceremony? I mean, a wedding at the registry office is so impersonal”, Tobin says as they walk down the aisles of the grocery store.</p><p>“Why would we waste money on a wedding when we’re planning to buy a house, Tobin? And have kids? We need to start planning for the future. A wedding is just one day, a marriage is a lifetime”. Christen picks up a carton of milk and puts it into the cart.</p><p>“But don’t you want your dad to walk you down the aisle? Don’t you want your sisters to be your bridesmaids?”</p><p>“We’re not having a big wedding, Tobs. We’ve already discussed this... We spent the majority of your birthday dinner discussing this”.</p><p>“I know, but-”</p><p>“Look, the most important thing is that we get married and then get approved for a loan so we can buy a house. If we apply for the wedding license online tonight, we could be married by next week”.</p><p>“Okay, okay… how about this? We get the wedding license as soon as possible, we get an officiant to marry us and then we have a teeny-tiny ceremony and your dad can walk his princess down the aisle and I can have my religious ceremony after your more secular one”. Tobin quirks her eyebrows up and pouts. “Tell me why that can’t work?”</p><p>Christen frowns. “My dad seems to be one of the big driving forces behind this sudden change of heart… did he put you up to this?”</p><p>Tobin looks down and Christen knows the answer.</p><p>“I can’t believe him!”</p><p>“Look, don’t be mad at your dad, okay... He just wants you to be happy”.</p><p>“Ugh, fine… If it’ll make everybody happy…”, she sighs and shakes her head. “We can have a very small religious ceremony for you and your family and my dad, I suppose”.</p><p>“Thank you, that <em>will </em>make everybody very happy”, Tobin says and flings an arm around Christen.</p><p>--</p><p>Christen works the following Saturday and as per usual, she texts Tobin to bring her lunch. But this week the brunette shows up empty handed.</p><p>“What’s the meaning of this?”, Christen asks as Tobin comes to sit on edge of her desk.</p><p> “I’m taking you out for lunch”, she says, sounding very pleased with herself. “I figured since we finally got our wedding license and we’re halfway to being married, we should celebrate”.</p><p>Christen offers a smile, but she’s quickly taken out of it. “I only have forty-five minutes”.</p><p>“Well then it’s a good thing I already ordered and our food’s getting prepared as we speak”, Tobin gets off the desk. “You coming or not?”</p><p> </p><p>They slip out of the office, but not passed Mal, who’s behind her desk. “Dr. and Mrs. Press-Heath… I just love how that sounds”, she croons.</p><p>Christen rolls her eyes. “Mal, I’m going to lunch with Tobin… I should be back in forty”.</p><p>“I got everything under control here, don’t worry”, the younger woman says. “Have fun!”, she calls out after them.</p><p>--</p><p>The restaurant is just around the corner, so they’re there in a flash. The waiter brings their food; a chicken salad for Christen and a turkey sandwich for Tobin.</p><p>“Are you free this coming Monday?”, Christen asks in between bites.</p><p>“I have an hour and lunch free… Why, what’s up?”</p><p>“I thought we could go look at some rings… the wedding’s in July and it’s only three weeks away”.</p><p>“Sounds good”, Tobin says and takes a bite of her sandwich. “Oh, I spoke to Megan and she gave the green light, we can get married in the gardens”.</p><p>“Great; I loved the gardens… I love the country club, even though I thought I wouldn’t”.</p><p>Tobin laughs. “Shady Oaks is great, it’s not as… exclusive as all these other clubs. They literally let a lesbian with pink hair run the place, it’s far from traditional”.</p><p>“It’s really beautiful, too. The nice backdrop to the wedding everybody wants”, Christen teases.</p><p>“Everybody but you?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>“Hey, don’t gimme that look”, she begins when she sees the irked look on Tobin’s face. “It’s not that I don’t want this wedding to happen, I just wanted to keep it simple”.</p><p>“It will be simple and elegant and beautiful… I don’t get it, you love weddings and you’ve always wanted one… why are you so against it now? Is it because of me?”</p><p>“What? No! No, of course it’s not you”, Christen says. “I just want this over and done with so we can begin the rest of our lives”. She reaches out and grabs hold of Tobin’s hand. “You’re the reason I’m doing this… I wanna make you happy. I said I was gonna be a good wife and I wanna start now”.</p><p>Tobin relaxes a bit. “So, rings on Monday?”</p><p>“Rings on Monday”, Christen confirms with a smile.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Accompanying playlist:</p><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pKRYF2V1FrGqFsilKrWUG?si=prE7e68rQ7635Cp58DjO2Q&amp;utm_source=native-share-menu</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tobin feels out of place in the fancy jewelry story, still in white tennis shorts and a light pink polo shirt from work. In contrast, Christen looks chic, in black slingbacks and an ash grey wrap dress.</p><p>Christen’s talking to one of the associates while Tobin’s off on her own little adventure, looking at rings on the other side of the store. Beautiful engagement rings with all the pretty gemstones. Christen has to call her over so she can join them at the service desk.</p><p>“Oh, sorry… You know I get distracted by shiny things”, Tobin jokes as she makes her way over.</p><p>“Tobs, this is Lindsey and she’s gonna help us pick out some rings today”.</p><p>Tobin gives a polite smile. “Nice to meet you”.</p><p>“Nice to meet you as well”, the happy blonde says. “I don’t mean to be creepy, but you two are a gorgeous couple”.</p><p>“Thank you”, Christen says and puts and arm around Tobin’s waist.</p><p>“So, what kind of rings are you looking for?”, Lindsey asks.</p><p>“Two simple wedding bands, please”, Tobin says and laughs. “We’re not after anything too flashy”.</p><p>“I’d like a braided band”, Christen says.</p><p>“Well, we have an amazing collection of simple wedding bands for ladies”, she says and opens unlocks a glass box, taking out said ‘amazing collection’.</p><p>“I’ll give you two some time to look through them and get a better sense of which ones you like. And please feel free call me over if you have any questions”, she says and slips off.</p><p>“What do you think?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>Christen’s eyes dance over the rings. They’re all beautifully simple, but there’s a pale gold braided one that catches her attention almost instantly. “That one’s pretty”.</p><p>“Yeah, I like it, too”. Tobin reaches out to take the ring from its holder, but her hand is quickly swatted away by Christen.</p><p>“You can’t touch it”.</p><p>“Yes, I can… check this out”, she turns around to find Lindsey. “Lindsey, can I take the ring out to get a closer look?”, she asks.</p><p>“Sure”, the blonde says with a giggle.</p><p>Tobin shrugs and gives Christen her I-told-you-so look before reaching out for the ring. “You think this’ll fit?”, she asks.</p><p>“I’m not sure”, Christen says as she inspects the band in Tobin’s hand.</p><p>“Let’s try it on, shall we?” Tobin takes Christen’s hand in hers and slowly slides the ring onto the other woman’s finger. It’s a simple action, but it makes Tobin’s heart skip a beat; makes her breath hitch a little bit. The ring fits perfectly, almost like it was made just for Christen. “Wow”, she says with a soft chuckle, staring at her fiancee’s delicate hand.</p><p>“I love it”, Christen speaks softly. “This is the one”.</p><p>“Are you sure? There are a few others and-”</p><p>“No, this is my ring. I want this one”, Christen protests gently.</p><p>Tobin smiles. “Alright then, that’s your ring”.</p><p>“I don’t wanna take it off”, Christen laughs.</p><p>“Soon you won’t have to”, Tobin promises. “You wanna help me choose mine?”</p><p>Christen takes the ring off but stares at it lovingly for just another second. “Sure”.</p><p>--</p><p>“You and Lindsey seemed to really hit it off”, Christen says as she drives Tobin back to the country club. “What were you two talking about while I was looking at the bracelets?”</p><p>“Oh, you know”, Tobin says and crosses her arms. “Girl stuff”.</p><p>Christen just gives her one look.</p><p>“Alright, alright… I was just…asking when my ring would be ready. I explained that we were getting married in three weeks”. She’s relieved when Christen buys it.</p><p>“God, these three weeks are going to go by so fast… I’m starting to get really stressed out”.</p><p>“Everything’s gonna be okay”, Tobin says and places a reassuring hand on Christen’s knee.</p><p>“I’m gonna need half an hour of Ashtanga this weekend”, Christen says with a sigh.</p><p>“I don’t know what that is, but it sounds intense”, Tobin jokes. “Hey look, I’m gonna be right there with you. Every step of the way”.</p><p>“We still have a million things to do. We need to get outfits for the wedding at City Hall and wedding attire for the ceremony”.</p><p>“That’s just an excuse to go shopping”, Tobin teases. “We have clothes, we don’t need to buy more…”</p><p>“So you wanna get married in chino shorts and a tie-dye tee-shirt?”</p><p>“No… I would wear a tie-dye <em>button up shirt</em> because it’s a formal event”, Tobin says in a mock serious tone. And she grins when she sees a small smile appear on Christen’s lips.</p><p>“We’ll get everything done on time, don’t worry”, Tobin says and gives Christen’s knee one more squeeze.</p><p>--</p><p>The days fly by in a hurry and with the wedding now only eight days away, the stress starts getting to both Christen and Tobin, but they deal with it in very different ways.</p><p>Christen works out. She spends her free time in the gym, goes on early morning runs before work and does yoga; lots of yoga.</p><p>When Tobin’s stressed out, she goes quiet; something she had taught herself while she was still playing tennis. She cancels out any noise she doesn’t want to hear, whether it was by putting on headphones and blasting music or practicing selective hearing when she just doesn’t want to hear things that’s going to stress her out.</p><p>The combination of their coping mechanisms has meant that they haven’t spent a lot of time together. The distance between them had bothered Christen so much, that she invites Tobin to do some yoga with her.</p><p>Tobin had protested, said she wasn’t at all as “elastic” as Christen, but the younger woman persuaded her. Christen had clearly learned that she can wrap Tobin around her finger whenever she wanted, with just a strategically placed sigh and a pouty bottom lip.</p><p>So, they have a session, with Christen taking up the role of instructor and Tobin under her expert tutelage. Christen had promised that it will help relax her and make her feel a little more in control. And as much as Tobin was intrigued to learn more about something that was obviously so important to Christen, the brunette was mainly focused on not staring at her fiancée too much.</p><p>Christen’s perfect honey skin was on full display with the shorts and sports bra she had on and it was very distracting.</p><p>And it was weird for Tobin; to be so fascinated by Christen’s body. She’s seen in before, many times. Just last summer she had seen Christen in a two-piece bathing suit and thought nothing of it. A year ago she might have teased her playfully, or just think something like ‘wow, Chris has really nice legs’.</p><p>Now? Now she wonders what it be like to graze her fingers along those legs or run her palm along her flat stomach. Was her skin as soft as it looked from afar? Probably, Tobin thinks, she makes her living off of helping people with their skin.</p><p>A year ago, she might have poked fun at the constellation of freckles along Christen’s back, but now she wants to trace her fingers along her shoulders and count every single one of her freckles.</p><p>And the worst part of it all as that she has no explanation for these peculiar new feelings. Maybe it was just the wedding that was getting to her, she says to herself.</p><p>But she watches on as Christen puts the two yoga mats away in her hall closet and tries to focus on anything other than Christen’s impressive form as she stretches to put the rolled-up mats at the very top of the storage space.</p><p>“Yoga wasn’t too bad now, was it?”, Christen asks as she walks past Tobin to the fridge.</p><p>“I don’t know, I think I’m gonna be sore in the morning”.</p><p>“Then you did it right”, the pale-eyed woman says and tosses Tobin a bottle of water. “Are you staying for dinner?”</p><p>“Yeah, sure”, Tobin says and drinks some of her water.</p><p>“We should shower”, Christen says.</p><p>Tobin coughs into her bottle of water. “What?”, she asks, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m all sweaty and gross and I’m sure you are, too. You can decide what we’re eating tonight and I’ll go take a quick shower and once I’m done, you can hop in”.</p><p>“Oh… right”, Tobin says.</p><p>--</p><p>Tobin doesn’t need to worry about clothes when she gets out of Christen’s shower. She’d stayed over so many times that a few of her garments had found a permanent residence in Christen’s drawers. She puts on basketball shorts and a white tee-shirt, ties her damp hair with one of the doctor’s pink hair elastics and makes her way to the living room.</p><p>“Oh cool, food’s here”, she says and walks straight to the counter where the takeout bags were standing.</p><p>“You ordered burgers and fries? Eight days before our wedding?”, Christen asks. “Why?”</p><p>“I thought we deserved a treat”, Tobin says, digging into the paper bag and taking out the food. “I know you’re a big advocate for ceramic plates… bring a couple to the table, will ya?”, she asks with a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“So, dress shopping with your mom and Alex, how’d that go?”, Tobin asks while she pours Christen a glass of wine.</p><p>“They both tried to strong-arm me into choosing dresses that they liked, but I found the perfect wedding dress. Very simple and elegant… I really like it”.</p><p>“Cool”, Tobin says and takes a bite of her burger. “I bought this dope vintage Nike windrunner in orange and teal, it’s so fresh”.</p><p>“Okay, hold up for just one second…”, Christen says and puts down her fork. “A windrunner jacket?”</p><p>“Not for the wedding; obviously!”, Tobin clarifies. “Just as a cool jacket that I’m gonna wear in the winter”. She shakes her head. “I swear, you have no faith in me. I took that peacock blue suit to a tailor and had it altered a little bit… it’ll look good, I promise”.</p><p>“I do love that suit on you”, Christen muses.</p><p>“See? It’s all gonna work out”. Tobin takes a swig of her beer. “French fry?”, she asks and offers Christen the little paper box of fries.</p><p>“I can’t eat fries eight days before my wedding! Get those away from me”, she calls and pushes the box to the side. “I’m just glad you got me the salad”.</p><p>“You know, once we’re married, I’m gonna expect home-cooked meals every evening”, Tobin joshes. “There will be no takeout menus in our house”.</p><p>“Oh is that so? That’s the kinda wife you want, is it?”, Christen playfully cross-examines. “Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, baking pies and fixing you a drink?”</p><p>Tobin grins. “Sounds perfect to me”.</p><p>“Ha-ha, marry someone else then”, Christen says and reaches for a fry. “But I am gonna be a career woman <em>and</em> a dutiful wife. I wanna be one of those women where people see me and they’re like ‘how does she do it?’”, Christen muses. “The successful career, the gorgeous house, the perfect marriage…”</p><p>“Wow”, Tobin says with a chuckle. “All I want is the cool hyphenated last name”.</p><p>Christen smiles and it makes Tobin feel nervous for some inexplicable reason.</p><p>“Anyway…”, she says quickly. “I wanted to um, to talk to you about our vows”.</p><p>Christen almost chokes on her wine. “Vows?”</p><p>“Pastor Eric asked what we were gonna do for vows and I thought it might be kinda cool if we wrote our own”. She shrugs and eats another fry. “But if you don’t want to…”</p><p>“No, I can… I can write vows”.</p><p>“Cool”.</p><p>Christen finishes her wine in one glug. “Yeah. Cool”</p><p>--</p><p>Christen was in between patients on a Friday morning, so she grabs her laptop and starts typing out her vows. They’re terrible.</p><p>Everything she writes sounds so false and forced and it really makes her wonder what kind of person she is for wanting to get married so badly, that she’s willing to contract a marriage of convenience just because she’s too jaded to go out and find a <em>real</em> wife.</p><p>But then she thinks about Tobin and the years they spent together, the shared history, the memories… from schoolgirl glances from across the hallway to going to prom together because they didn’t have dates. She thinks about all the hours spent on her bed, listening to emo rock and buddy-reading the Harry Potter books in Tobin’s childhood bedroom.</p><p>Tobin makes her laugh when she’s sad or stressed out; and when she needs an escape from the world, Tobin’s there to whisk her away.</p><p>She couldn’t marry anyone else, because no one else would ever match up to the fiancée she has right now.</p><p>Tobin <em>was</em> a real wife. She was the perfect life partner. She was perfect, full stop.</p><p>But for some reason, Christen couldn’t relay those feelings down on paper.</p><p> </p><p>Much later in the day, Alex pops in to see how the ‘blushing bride’ was doing.</p><p>Christen sighs and leans back in her chair. “I’m having a hard time with my vows”.</p><p>“But vows are so much fun! I wrote mine in like, five minutes”.</p><p>“Well, thanks for making me feel worse than I already do”, Christen jokes. “I know what I wanna say, I just don’t know how to say it”.</p><p>Alex gives an endearing smile. “This is going to sound extremely lame and cheesy. But just speak from the heart. And remember, it doesn’t matter what you say, Tobin’s gonna swoon because it’s you… and that girl has been in love with you for fifteen years”.</p><p>Christen swallows deep. It was hard hearing things like this. Everyone around them always said that they were in love with each other; that they looked in love; that they acted as if they were.</p><p>Personally, Christen never saw it. Sure, they were close, but Tobin never made a move on her. Not even once. Their relationship was platonic, but for some reason everyone else thought it was romantic.</p><p>She finally musters a smile. “Thanks for the advice, Al”.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <strong> <span class="u">July</span> </strong>
</p><p>The 2<sup>nd</sup> of July, the night before Tobin actually marries Christen Press, her best friend who she’s known for almost half of her life. It was still so unreal. She can’t sleep, no matter how hard she tries, so she calls Christen, hoping she was still awake, too.</p><p>She was. And she picks up the phone after a solitary ring.</p><p>“Tobin, hey, what’s wrong?”, she asks, sounding worried.</p><p>“Nothing, nothing’s wrong”, Tobin assures. “I can’t sleep and I thought I’d call you… hear how you’re doing”.</p><p>“Well, clearly I can’t sleep either. I keep thinking about tomorrow. I just want everything to go well”.</p><p>“It will”.</p><p>“How do you know?”</p><p>“Because…”, Tobin slips on her sliders and throws on her dark green over-shirt. “…I said so”.</p><p>“That’s very reassuring”, Christen manages to joke along, even though she feels a lump forming in her throat. “When I saw your name pop up on my screen this late… I thought you might be calling to say that you don’t wanna do this anymore”.</p><p>“Chris…”, Tobin says with a sigh. “I’ve never been as sure of anything in my life. I wanna get married to you… I wanna <em>be</em> married to you”.</p><p>“Okay… thanks, I need to hear that”.</p><p>“You’re not gonna sleep tonight, are you?”</p><p>“Nope”, Christen says and rolls onto her other side. “And I don’t wanna look tired on my wedding photos”.</p><p>“You’re gonna look as beautiful as ever”, she says before she can stop herself.</p><p>“Thanks, Tobin”, she says softly, taken aback by the compliment. She’s not sure if Tobin’s ever called her beautiful before. Pretty, yes. But never beautiful.</p><p>“Listen”, Tobin says as she reaches her front door, car keys in hand. “Try to sleep, okay?”</p><p>“I’ll try”, Christen groans. “Good night”.</p><p>“Sleep tight”.</p><p>--</p><p>Even though Tobin was hoping Christen could get some sleep in before the morning, she was also kind of hoping she was still awake for this. She reaches into her pocket for her phone and calls her.</p><p>“Yes, I’m still awake”, Christen answers. “In fact, I’m in the kitchen making a cup of chamomile tea”.</p><p>“Got enough tea for two?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>“What do you mean?”, Christen asks with an arched eyebrow.</p><p>“Open your door”.</p><p>“You did not drive over here in the middle of the night…”</p><p>“Just open your door, woman!”, Tobin says, the smile audible in her voice.</p><p>Christen tip-toes over the cold floor and slowly opens her door. Tobin’s standing in front of her with a beaming smile on her face.</p><p>“What are you doing here? It’s almost midnight”, Christen asks as she let’s her in.</p><p>“Came to check up on ya… You sounded worried and I wanted to be here by your side”.</p><p>It honestly makes Christen’s heart double in size. “Thanks, Tobs”, she says.</p><p>“And, I also wanted to tell you that despite us not going on honeymoon, I’m planning on taking you somewhere special for Saturday and Sunday… if that’s okay with you”.</p><p>“Hmm, now I’m intrigued”, Christen says.</p><p>“So it’s a yes?”</p><p>“It’s a yes”.</p><p> </p><p>Tobin watches as Christen takes out two cups from the cupboard, prepping the tea.</p><p>“You know, since I’ve talked you into having a ceremony and now going on a mini honeymoon, there’s just one little thing missing”, she says as she moves from behind the counter and into the small kitchen area.</p><p>Christen’s busy pouring the boiling water into the mugs. “What’s that?”, she asks without looking up.</p><p>Tobin doesn’t answer, instead she clears her throat and waits for Christen to look down. When she does, she finds Tobin down on one knee, holding a gorgeous emerald ring.</p><p>“You deserve a real proposal. A woman like you can’t go the whole of her life without ever getting proposed to properly”.</p><p>“Tobin… I-”</p><p>“Christen Press, you are… like, really awesome…”</p><p>The choice of words makes Christen laugh.</p><p>“And I wanna spend the rest of my life making you happy…so will you marry me? And remember, you can’t exactly say no”.</p><p>Christen shifts her gaze to the ring and then back to Tobin, who’s got the brightest, most hopeful smile on her face. “Yes, yes, I’ll marry you”, she says happily.</p><p>“Well then give me your hand”, Tobin jokes. She slowly puts the ring on her finger and then grazes her thumb along her knuckles. “Perfect”.</p><p> </p><p>They drink their tea on the couch, in silence. Tobin catches Christen staring at her new piece of jewelry every now and then and it makes her smile.</p><p>“So this is what you and Lindsey from the store were discussing…”, the doctor says.</p><p>“Yeah”, Tobin admits. “I saw that ring and I knew I wanted to get it for you”.</p><p>“It was really sweet of you… I love it”, Christen says. “And I promise I’m gonna pay you back whatever you spent on this”.</p><p>“Chris… please. It’s a gift”. Tobin inches a little closer and takes Christen’s hand in hers. “It represents our friendship and the love we have for each other”.</p><p>“I promise to never take it off then”.</p><p>“Good”, Tobin says and goes back to drinking her tea.</p><p>“Except, maybe when I’m working or cooking or swimming or-”</p><p>“Alright, you’re gonna take it off a lot, but you have to promise that no matter how many times you take it off, that you’ll always put it back on”.</p><p>Christen gives a sleepy smile. “I promise”.</p><p> </p><p>Tobin leaves half an hour later, and when she calls to hear if Christen’s still awake, it goes straight to voicemail. She smiles and gets dressed for bed.</p><p>--</p><p>Her alarm wakes her up at six, meaning Tobin’s only had about five hours of sleep. She wills herself out of bed, despite still being very sleepy, hops in the shower and hopes the cold water wakes her up.</p><p>She’s getting married today. Twice.</p><p>The civil wedding’s happening in a few hours, at City Hall. There won’t be anyone else there except Alex, who was there in her capacity as witness and Channing, Christen’s older sister who was also her lawyer. They’d sign some papers and say their ‘I do’s’. Then, later in the day, just before sunset, there was going to be another ceremony. One where Christen can wear a pretty white dress and both their fathers can walk them down the aisle.  </p><p>Tobin got out of the shower and put on black trousers and a freshly pressed white button down shirt with a club collar. The nerves get to her a little bit while she’s preparing cereal and she spills the milk on the counter a couple of times.</p><p>“Pull it together, Heath”, she mumbles under her breath and exhales sharply. “It’s just a wedding”.</p><p>There’s a knock on the door and she rushes to go open it. She’s been doing everything hurried this morning.</p><p>“Good morning!”, Alex chirps and pulls Tobin in for a hug. “How’re you feeling? How are the nerves?”</p><p>“I’m… okay. I’m freaking out a little bit, but I’m good”, Tobin says.</p><p>“You just had like, three emotions in that one sentence. You need to calm down and just breathe slowly”, Alex says and takes an invisible piece of lint off of Tobin’s shirt. “Everything’s going to be fine”.</p><p>“I know, I just… it’s scary. You know, promising forever to someone”, Tobin says and sighs. “I know how important this is to Christen and I just want today to be perfect for her”.</p><p>“Aww, that’s so sweet. You really love her, don’t know?”</p><p>Tobin nods. “She’s really important to me”.</p><p>“Well then, get over the nerves and come with me, because we gotta be at the courthouse in an hour”, Alex says and tucks a loose stand of hair behind the brunette’s ear.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. We should go. Lemme just go get my stuff”.</p><p>--</p><p>Tobin spots Christen and her sister sitting on one of the benches outside the chamber. She looks beautiful in a knee-length light pink A-line dress. Her hair was tied in a sleek and silky ponytail.</p><p>“Hey”, Tobin says as she walks up to the sisters.</p><p>“Good morning, Tobin”, Channing says and gets up to hug her future sister-in-law. “I haven’t seen you since the news of your engagement broke, so congratulations and welcome to the family you’ve been apart of for years anyway”, she says with a smile.</p><p>“Thanks, Channing. I really appreciate you being here, I know how busy you are”.</p><p>“It’s a pleasure. But hey, let me give you two some privacy”, she says and walks over to Alex, leaving Tobin and Christen by themselves.</p><p>“Hey”, Tobin says and sits down next to her. “You look really nice”.</p><p>“Thank you. You do, too. I like your hair, it’s pretty like that”, Christen smiles and raises her hand. “I’ve got the ring on”.</p><p>“Yeah, I see that. It still looks perfect”.</p><p>“You don’t seem nervous, but I know you are”, Christen comments and smiles.</p><p>“I’m freaking out”, Tobin laughs. “But I want this”. She stares into Christen’s eyes and can almost see the nervous excitement in them. “And I can’t wait to be your wife”.</p><p>“Christen Press and Tobin Heath?”, a young woman calls out. She smiles when she sees them. “You ready to get married?”</p><p>“R-right now?”, Tobin asks after she’s pulled herself away from looking into Christen’s eyes.</p><p>The woman chuckles. “You still have ten or so minutes, but the marriage officiant does like to meet the couples beforehand, so if you’d please follow me”.</p><p>Tobin waits for Christen to get up first, then she follows her through the doors.</p><p>--</p><p>The judge is an older man, with salt and pepper hair and a light stubble, but he seems nice and his excitable energy is rather infectious.</p><p>“There’s nothing like an early morning wedding, am I right?”, he says as he shakes hands with the women. “My name is Judge Vlatko. Who’s Tobin and who’s Christen?”</p><p>The brunette smiles and point to her own chest. “I’m Tobin”.</p><p>“Alright and that makes you Christen”, he says with a laugh. “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you. Please, have a seat and tell me a little bit about yourselves”.</p><p>“Well, we’ve known each other for fifteen years”, Tobin begins after she sits down. They’d already gone through the same spiel before with the pastor, so they were well-rehearsed.</p><p>“Fifteen years is a lifetime”, he says as he looks through their papers.</p><p>“We had to be sure”, Christen jokes.</p><p>“Smart”, he says and clasps his hands together. “Well, I don’t know about you ladies, but I wanna get this wedding over and done with so that you can go enjoy all that wedded bliss. Did you bring two witnesses?”</p><p>“Yeah, my sister and our best friend”.</p><p>“Let me go tell my assistant Rose to go fetch them”.</p><p>--</p><p>Judge Vlatko returns to his chambers, Channing and Alex hot on his heels.</p><p>“Alright, well, I don’t know how many times you’ve done this before”, he says, “But I’m gonna need you to stand right here”. He leads them to the other side of the desk. “You, my dear, stand right here and you, darling, you’re right here”. He lets out a warm laugh. “No need to look so scared”.</p><p>“Come on, Judge Vlatko, you see who I’m marrying here? How can I not be nervous?”, Tobin manages to joke.</p><p>“This one’s gonna be giving you compliments for the rest of your life”, he says and nudges at Christen’s shoulder. “Alright, do we have the rings here?”, he asks.</p><p>“Yes, I have them right here”, Alex says quickly and leans over to give the rings to her two friends.</p><p>“You can hold hands”, he says and nods down. “Just answer ‘I am’ after I’ve asked the question”, he says and then clears his throat. “Are you, Christen Press, free lawfully to marry Tobin Heath, here present?”</p><p>Christen bites at the corner of her lip, but smiles and yes, “I am”.</p><p>“And are you, Tobin Heath, free lawfully to marry Christen Press, here present?”</p><p>“I am”, Tobin says too quickly, drawing laughs from everybody else in the room, including Christen.</p><p>“Now, place the ring on your partner’s finger”, Vlatko says and watches on as Tobin nervously slides the braided ring on Christen’s finger. She’s done this two times before, but it’s still so intimate that it makes her nervous.</p><p>Christen places Tobin’s ring on her finger next, and she has to swallow down a lump in her throat. She hasn’t done this before, and she didn’t think it would be so profound.</p><p>“Perfect! And now, the witnesses need to sign right here…”, he says and beckons the two other women over. Channing and Alex quickly sign the papers.</p><p>“Well, wouldn’t you know it, by the power vested in me by the state of Oregon, you are now…”, he squints his eyes. “What would you like to be called? Partners or…”</p><p>“Wives”, they answer in unison.</p><p>“I now pronounce you wife and wife, congratulations”, he says with a big smile.</p><p>“Wow, that was fast”, Tobin says with a laugh.</p><p>“Oh wait, I forgot the most important part… Christen, you have to kiss your bride now”.</p><p>A panicked look flashes across the doctor’s face. “Kiss?”</p><p>“Yes, it’s not a union if it’s not sealed with a kiss now, is it?”, Alex says.</p><p>Tobin hadn’t even considered the kiss. Not once. And she can’t believe the oversight on her part. She can tell from Christen’s slightly terrified expression, that she also forgot about the kiss.</p><p>“It’s not a legal requirement”, the judge jokes.</p><p>“I wanna do it”, Christen says and gives a nervous laugh. “Of course I wanna kiss my wife”, she adds, just to make sure Alex and Channing don’t find it odd that they don’t want to kiss each other.</p><p>She steps forward and gently places her hand along Tobin’s blushing cheek. Her eyes asks for consent; Tobin’s face softening gives her her answer, gives her the go-ahead. So brushes her lips against Tobin’s soft lips in a tender kiss.</p><p>Their kiss, their first ever kiss, is soft and sweet and warm and for a brief second, Tobin forgets where she is. She loses herself in the kiss and inches even closer to Christen, until there’s no space between their bodies.</p><p>Christen’s mind is lost in a different space and time and the only thing she can think of is how good it feels to kiss Tobin and how sweet she tastes. Her hand, the one that’s not cupping Tobin’s face, moves to Tobin’s back and she presses the pads of her fingertips into the brunette’s back.</p><p>But then Tobin steps back and breaks the kiss.</p><p>“Wow”, Alex says. “<em>I’m</em> blushing after that”.</p><p>Christen can’t explain the expression on Tobin’s face, but it looks like a cross between totally and utterly mortified, but also relieved and maybe a little happy… she can’t tell.</p><p>“Congratulations, Dr. and Mrs. Press-Heath”, the judge says and shakes their hands again. “I wish you nothing but years and years of love and happiness”.</p><p>“Thank you”, Christen says softly and with a shy smile.</p><p>--</p><p>Alex and Channing say goodbye to each other and walk off to their respective cars, leaving Tobin and Christen on the steps of City Hall.</p><p>“We’re married”, Christen says with a bright smile.</p><p>“I know… We did it”.</p><p>“And I’m sorry about the kiss. I didn’t know what else to do”.</p><p>“It’s okay”, Tobin says and laughs nervously. “Wouldn’t want anyone to get suspicious”.</p><p>Christen manages a smile. “So, what are you gonna do for the rest of the day?”</p><p>“Alex and I are gonna go to Shady Oaks, see if they need any help, but they probably won’t because the team plan weddings all the time. Everything should be ready for this afternoon”.</p><p>“Awesome”, Christen says. “I’m gonna spend the day with mom and my sisters. They said they were gonna pamper me, take me out for lunch”.</p><p>“Sounds good”, Tobin sighs and pulls Christen in for a quick hug. “I’ll see you later”.</p><p>“See you later”, Christen responds.</p><p>--</p><p>The next time Tobin and Christen see each other is when Tobin’s waiting for her at the altar. The last of the sun’s rays creep through the tall oak trees.</p><p>The Shady Oaks garden was a gorgeous green, white and pink flowered place, surrounded by wild oak trees; sort of like a garden right in the middle of a forest. It looked right out of a fairy-tale, but to Tobin nothing could ever look a beautiful as Christen in her wedding dress. An ivory ballgown with a curved V-neckline and a sheer back. Her hair’s done up in a rope braid, with a simple botanical laurel wreath. Her make-up is minimal, and her eyes are the obvious vocal point. She looks like a princess, on her father’s arm as he walks her down the aisle.</p><p>Tobin always thought Christen was beautiful, but she can’t believe how perfect she looks now. And even once she’s standing beside her, giving her a nervous smile and mouthing ‘hey’ at her, she still can’t get over the fact that she’s married to this woman.</p><p>Cody whispers something in her ear when he gives her kiss on the cheek, but she doesn’t register what it is. She can’t focus on anything or anyone other than Christen.</p><p>Even during Pastor Eric’s brief message, Tobin finds herself spacing out a few times. Replaying the same sentence over and over in her head. <em>I’m actually married to Christen. </em></p><p>When it finally gets to the part where they have to exchange vows, the nerves begin to settle in again. Sure, they were already married, but now they had to vocalize that love in front of their closest friends and family.</p><p>“Christen and Tobin have elected to write their own vows”, the pastor says. “Tobin, let’s start with you”.</p><p>The brunette gives a nod and then reaches into the inside pocket of her jacket. “I had to write it down, in case I forgot what I wanted to say”, she mumbles and it draws a few laughs from the crowd. She draws a breath, exhales and then begins. “Christen, I… I love you. And even though we’re getting married today and I’m becoming your wife, I still want to be your sounding board, your confidant and your best friend. I promise here, in front of the most important people in our lives, that I am going to respect you, protect you, love you and adore for the rest of our lives”.</p><p>She looks up from the piece of paper and looks into Christen’s eyes and feels instant calm; almost like everything’s gonna be okay.</p><p>“I promise to make laugh every day, ‘cause all I want to do is make you happy. In sickness and health, for better or worse, the two of us – the way it was meant to be”.</p><p>Christen gnaws at the inside of her lip; she really doesn’t want to cry, but Tobin’s words are just too beautiful and she’s so sincere.</p><p>“That was beautiful Tobin…”, Pastor Eric says. He turns to the other woman. “Christen, it’s your turn now”.</p><p>Christen manages the calm her nerves before she speaks. “Wow, this is really hard… not because I don’t love you, because I do. I just… I don’t think words will ever be enough, so I’m going to show you, through my actions every day, just how much I love. I’m going to be there for you, support you, grow with you and stay with you forever”.</p><p>The pastor asks for the rings, and Tyler hands him the bands and for the second time that day, Tobin has to slide a ring on Christen’s finger. Christen does the same and Pastor Eric asks them both to repeat after him when he says, “this ring is my sacred gift to you. A symbol of my love and devotion, a sign that from this day forward and always, my love will surround you”.</p><p>“With this this ring, I thee wed”, Christen says and puts the ring on Tobin’s finger.</p><p>The pastor closes with a short prayer and then gestures to the two women. “May God bless these vows, this covenant and this union. I pronounce you Dr. and Mrs. Press-Heath. You may now kiss the bride”, he says, placing a hand on each of their shoulders.</p><p>This time Tobin’s a bit more prepared. She has to be; she’s been thinking about that morning’s kiss for the entirety of her day. She takes a step closer to Christen, places both her hands on her wife’s hips and gives her a chaste kiss on the lips. And she hopes; or rather, she silently prays, that this isn’t the last time they kiss.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tobin leans with her back against the side of the elevator, exhausted after the longest, most wonderful day of her life. The last twenty-four hours have been amazing, but now she’s really drained and ready for bed.</p><p>Christen’s standing on the opposite side, looking cute in her third outfit of the day, a pale blue dress that reached the above her knee. She looks tired, but happy. Both ceremonies had gone swimmingly, and they had had a good time with their family and friends at the reception, which was dinner under the stars with a little dancing afterwards.</p><p>“Did you have a good time tonight?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>“Yeah, it was a lot of fun”, Christen says with a sleepy smile. “Can we get married every week?”</p><p>“Every week, huh? Coming from the girl who didn’t even want a wedding?”.</p><p>“Alright, you win. You were right”, Christen says. “I was wrong”.</p><p>“You’re gonna be saying that a lot from now on”, Tobin says with a grin.</p><p>Christen just rolls her eyes.</p><p>“Thank you”, Tobin then says.</p><p>“For?”</p><p>“Everything…”</p><p>The elevator door opens with a ping before Christen can answer. But as they step out into the hallway, Christen links her arm with Tobin’s.</p><p>“Can we agree that once we walk into your apartment, that we’re a team and that we’ll do everything in our power to make this marriage work?”, Christen asks.</p><p>Tobin looks over at her. “That’s all I want, too”. And she really wants to lean over and give Christen a kiss, but she knows she can’t. So, she deals with it the only way she knows how. “But you’re not <em>walking</em> into the apartment”.</p><p>“Don’t even…”, Christen calls out, but Tobin’s already scooped her up into her arms.</p><p>“Too late”, the brunette says with a laugh. “I’m carrying you over the threshold”.</p><p>“That archaic tradition is- Aaah, okay okay!”, Christen screams out as Tobin twirls her around a couple of times.</p><p>“I know you’re secretly enjoying this”, Tobin laughs.</p><p>“No, I’m not”, Christen says with a deep frown on her face, that disappears as soon as Tobin looks down at her. She purses her lips together to keep from smiling.</p><p>“Okay, so you want me to put you down?”</p><p>“I mean, we’re almost at your door… might as well complete the job, right?”</p><p>Tobin chuckles. “Yeah, that’s what I thought”.</p><p> </p><p>Once they’re in the apartment Tobin finally puts Christen down and goes to lock the front door. They decided to spend the evening in the same place, since that’s what everyone was expecting; it would’ve looked odd if they didn’t leave together. Tobin’s apartment is closer to the country club, so it made sense for them to stay there.</p><p>“I’m so tired”, Christen says and sits down on the couch, which will double as her bed for the night. She takes off her shoes. “Do you have pajamas for me?”</p><p>“Gimme a sec”, Tobin says and walks off to her bedroom. When she returns, she’s taken aback by the almost naked woman in her living room.</p><p>Christen’s only in her underwear; lacy powder blue panties and a matching bra.</p><p>“Um, here you go”, Tobin says and hands her the shorts and tee-shirt.</p><p>“Thanks”, the doctor says. “You going to bed?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m exhausted”, Tobin says and nervously plays with her wedding ring. Christen looks so good and it’s hard to focus on anything else, but she has to. “I’ll see you in the morning”.</p><p>“See you in the morning”.</p><p>--</p><p>Tobin wakes up the next morning when she feels pressure on her bed. She slowly turns around and opens her eyes. Christen’s sitting in the edge of her bed with a tray in her hands.</p><p>“Good morning”, she says with a bright smile. “I made you breakfast. You didn’t have a lot of food in the house, but I improvised”.</p><p>Tobin sits up, wiping the sleep from her eyes. “You made breakfast?”, she asks, voice still croaky from only just waking up.</p><p>“I made pancakes, sliced up some banana and made you a cup of coffee”.</p><p>Tobin chuckles. “You shouldn’t have”.</p><p>“I wanted to”, Christen says and hands Tobin her coffee. “I wanna do nice things for you”.</p><p>“Because I’m your wife?”</p><p>“Yes”, she says with a sigh. “But also because you’re my best friend and you’ve given me so much and I’m just really thankful”.</p><p>Tobin nods. Of course Christen’s gonna do nice things for her because they’re friends. Friends. That was all they were, despite the wedding and the marriage, they were still just friends and nothing’s going to change that. Rings weren’t gonna change that, and it made Tobin feel disillusioned about the whole thing.</p><p>She went to bed last night thinking about how she’s married to the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen, but who she could never kiss or touch or be with. Christen was in her living room sleeping, but she might as well have been a million miles away.</p><p>“Eat up, I’m gonna go home and get ready for our trip”, Christen says, pulling Tobin back from the tangent on which her mind was going. The doctor nicks a slice of banana from the bowl and then pops it into her mouth. “I’ll be back here in an hour, okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, see you then”, Tobin says and gives a smile.</p><p>--</p><p>“Where exactly are we going?”, Christen asks as she follows Tobin up the hiking trail. The brunette had told her to wear comfortable clothes and shoes and had driven out of the city. She left the car in the parking lot of whatever this place was and led Christen up the trail.</p><p>“Just stop being so impatient, we’re almost there”. She stops and holds out her hand. “Take my hand, we’re gonna walk over a suspension bridge”.</p><p>“A what?”</p><p>Tobin rolls her eyes. “Get up here and see for yourself”.</p><p>Christen takes the last few steps before she’s on the top of the hill and she can see what Tobin’s talking about. It was a long suspension bridge that leads to a treehouse. They were surrounded by treehouses in fact, five or six fixed into huge trees.</p><p>“It’s one of the most exclusive Air BnB’s in Portland; it’s obviously a treehouse, but it’s got a kitchen, a living room, a bedroom and of course the views are amazing”.</p><p>“I didn’t even know this place existed”, Christen says quietly, looking around.</p><p>“One of the girls I coach’s parents own this place and when I told them I was getting married, they thought this would be a great little vacation”.</p><p>“It’s…wow… It’s beautiful”, Christen says.</p><p>“Now come on, let’s go”, Tobin says and watches as Christen takes her hand. “Don’t be scared, okay? I’m right here”.</p><p>“And you’re sure this… bridge can hold the both of us?”</p><p>“Of course”, Tobin says. “It’s completely safe… I came here a couple of days ago to check it out and everything’s good”, she ensures. “Just don’t let go of my hand and don’t look down”.</p><p> </p><p>They make it across the bridge with no hassle, only Christen clutching at Tobin’s arm for dear life, even though she was acting all brave.</p><p>Tobin opens the door and lets Christen walk in first.</p><p>The treehouse is spacious and beautifully decorated. There’s so much natural light coming in through all the windows. All the furniture is white and it contrasts so well with the cedar wood interior. There are two loveseats opposite each other and in the middle is a white ottoman on the shaggy white rug. The kitchenette has a mini-fridge, a hot plate powered by gas and mini cabinets, housing pots and pans, glasses and plates. The counter is outfitted with a simple coffee machine, a beverage station with an assortment of coffees, teas and sweetener options.</p><p>“Okay, I’m in love”, Christen says as she does a three-sixty in the middle of the living room area.</p><p>“I thought you might like it. It’s very quiet up here, very zen. Very you”, Tobin jokes and takes Christen’s backpack off her shoulder. “Have a look around”.</p><p>Christen walks over to the sliding doors. “It’s so beautiful, Tobin. Come have a look at this”, she says and slides the door open. “You can see the whole forest from the deck”.</p><p>Tobin laughs and puts her and Christen’s backpacks on the nearest sofa.</p><p>“I’m already envisioning an early-morning yoga session out here for tomorrow”, Christen says and takes a deep breath. “I love it here”.</p><p>“We’re only here for two days, so let’s make the most of it”, Tobin says as she joins Christen out on the deck.</p><p>“Agreed”, the doctor says and puts her arm around Tobin’s waist. “What do you wanna do first?”</p><p>“Honestly? I wanna sleep”, Tobin says and shrugs. “I’m still tired from yesterday”.</p><p>“Maybe you can take a nap while I sit in one of these really comfy looking chairs with a drink in my hand”, Christen says.</p><p>“Which reminds me, I need to get our food and drinks from the car. I’m gonna run down and grab everything, you stay here and relax”.</p><p>“You sure you don’t need any help carrying everything?”, Christen asks.</p><p>“I can manage”, Tobin says and heads over to the door. “I’ll be back in ten minutes”.</p><p>“You know it’s not a ten-minute walk”.</p><p>“Fine, fifteen minutes. Have a seat or have a look around and I’ll be back before you know it”.</p><p>--</p><p>Tobin returns almost twenty-five minutes later with another backpack on her back and a shopping bag in her hand.</p><p>“It’s quite a long trek up and down these very steep knolls…”, she says as she enters the treehouse.</p><p>“That’s okay. I was enjoying the peace and quiet”.</p><p>“Wow”, Tobin says with a laugh. “Shady”. She unpacks the shopping bag and takes out a few pre-packed meals, bread and a dozen cupcakes in a cute cupcake holder. “It’s mostly salads, fruit…”</p><p>“Perfect”, Christen says.</p><p>“And as for drinks”, Tobin says and takes off the backpack. “A couple bottles of Riesling, pre-mixed bellinis and beer for me”</p><p>“Maybe I want a beer, too”, Christen says with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“Okay then”, Tobin says with a laugh. “I’m gonna put these in the fridge”.</p><p>“While you were gone I checked out the rest of the treehouse… You know there’s only one bed here, right?”</p><p>“Oh… right”, Tobin says as she packs the bottles in the fridge. “I figured I’ll just sleep on the couch. It’s only for one night”.</p><p>“I see”, Christen says and she doesn’t hide her disappointment well. She was hoping they could share the bed, just because she was afraid of bugs or other creepy, crawly creatures that might come out at night. Sure, the resort itself was very safe. There were security guards at the gate and on patrol throughout the day and the night, but they couldn’t really protect her from a termite or mosquito. She needed Tobin to do that. “Are you sure you wanna sleep on the couch though? It’s not that comfortable”.</p><p>Tobin scratches at the back of her neck. “We don’t have a lot of other options”.</p><p>“Well, we could share the bed”.</p><p>“Share? Like, sleep together? In the same bed, I mean”.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s not that big a deal. It’s just sharing a bed. Plus, I checked, it’s a pretty big bed”.</p><p>Tobin swallows deep and tries very hard not to blush at that exact moment. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Of course… Best friends sharing a bed… It’ll be like a sleepover. We used to have loads of sleepovers back when we were in high school”, Christen says. “Now go on, get some rest. I’ll be outside on the deck”, Christen says and sends a wink Tobin’s way and leaves the brunette wondering how she’s going to survive this weekend.</p><p> </p><p>A few hours later Tobin wakes up and goes to wash her face in the basin in the bathroom. She stares at herself in the mirror for a few seconds, wondering how she’s going to deal with these new feelings for Christen. With each passing minute her feelings for her best friend were becoming less and less platonic. She doesn’t know what caused the shift or how she gets back to normal. She doesn’t know how or when or even why Christen became the only thing she can think about, but she really needs it to stop.</p><p>She walks to the kitchen, grabs herself a beer and heads out to the deck, where Christen was sitting. She was reading something on her phone while sipping on a bellini.</p><p>“You’re up”, she says with a smile. “Did you have a nice nap?”</p><p>“Yeah, it was good”, Tobin says and sits down in the chair next to Christen’s. “It’s really beautiful up here…”</p><p>“I’d move in here if it had a bath and another room”.</p><p>“You’d have a forty-minute drive to the clinic everyday”, Tobin reasons. “And I can’t coach tennis in a forest either”.</p><p>“You’re ruining my fantasy”, Christen moans playfully. “Thanks for bringing me here… thanks for everything”, she says. “We’ve only been married for one day and I already know we made the right decision”.</p><p>Tobin nods. “I’m just trying to be the best possible wife to you… that’s all I can do”. She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and she hopes Christen won’t notice.</p><p>“Is something wrong?”, Christen asks almost immediately.</p><p>“No, no, of course not!”, Tobin answers a bit too quickly. “I’m really happy”.</p><p>Christen gives her another look, but then goes back to drinking her cocktail. “I read that there’s a creek not to far from here and guests usually go there to swim. We should go check it out later”.</p><p>“Sounds good”, Tobin says.</p><p> </p><p>At nightfall, Tobin becomes a bit more anxious. She’s going to be sharing a bed with Christen for the first time in years. Their arms or legs might brush up against each other and she’s going to have to deal with that. She’s going to have to deal with the way Christen smelled of vanilla and cherries, the heat that would radiate from her body, the way her hair would be splayed on the pillow next to her own.</p><p>Their day had gone so well. They went swimming, came back and had a late lunch and watched the sun setting behind the tall trees with drinks in hand. Sometimes they spoke, other times they just enjoyed the view in comfortable silence.</p><p>Christen’s in the shower and Tobin can hear the water falling from the faucet and onto the floor of the shower. She knows her wife is five feet away, naked and with water dripping off of her fantastic body. The fantastic body she tried very hard not be stare at while they were at the creek.</p><p>A few minutes later, Christen walks into the room, but instead of it being this really sexy and salacious entrance that Tobin was picturing in her head (and that was giving anxiety), Christen’s in an oversized Stanford tee-shirt and blue pajama bottoms. Her hair, still damp,  is in a top bun and she already has her retainer in her mouth. It’s the furthest thing from being sexy, but it still makes Tobin’s heart beat faster than anything or anyone else ever could.</p><p>“You haven’t seen me wear this in years, have you?”, Christen says as she walks over to her side of the bed.</p><p>“Oh, your Stanford tee? You wear it all the time”, Tobin notes inconspicuously.</p><p>“I meant the freaking retainer”, Christen says and rolls her eyes.</p><p>“You’re wearing a retainer? I didn’t even notice”, Tobin says with a smile.</p><p>“Good answer”, the doctor says. “Can I turn off the lights?”</p><p>“Sure”.</p><p>A few seconds later the room is dark and Tobin can feel Christen shifting into the bed next to her.</p><p>“Mmm, this bed is amazing”, Christen says with a sigh. She turns to face the brunette, only just seeing her in the moonlight. “Hey Tobs, do you still drool in your sleep?”</p><p>“Shut up, Brace Face”.</p><p>Christen lets out a cackle and Tobin can’t help but join in the laughter.</p><p>She did it. She married her best friend, the person who knows her inside and out, who’s always been there for her. Always supported her. Always knew just how to get under her skin, but who she loved endlessly.</p><p>But now she was in love with her. Completely, entirely in love.</p><p>Shit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">August</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>“Do you think I shoulda worn long pants to this?”, Tobin asks as she gets out of Christen’s car. They were meeting a real estate agent and she felt terribly undressed in a white tee-shirt, khaki shorts and slides, next to Christen in a flowy, sage colored sundress. Tobin was starting to wonder if this was going to be their entire marriage; Christen looking effortlessly chic while she’s standing next to her in shorts and a backwards trucker’s hat. She wonders if that bothers Christen.</p><p>“It’s an open house, not a funeral. You can wear whatever you want”, Christen says and checks her phone. “Crystal should be here in a few minutes”.</p><p>“How many houses are we looking at today?”</p><p>“Just two”.</p><p>Tobin puts on her sunglasses and gives the house they parked in front of a onceover. “I don’t love this front yard. I don’t like hedges, they kinda creep me out”.</p><p>“And it’s right on the corner… Lots of cars driving past. I don’t like that”.</p><p>A car stops just as they’re about to carp further. A woman dressed in dark slacks and a white blouse click-clacks her way towards them in heels.</p><p>“Christen and Tobin, good afternoon! I am so sorry if I kept you waiting”, Crystal says with an apologetic smile on her face.</p><p>“Oh, don’t worry about. We just got here”, Tobin puts the realtor’s mind at ease.</p><p>“Okay, great. First impressions - what do you make of the house so far?”, she asks.</p><p>Tobin and Christen exchange looks. “We don’t love it, yet”, Christen says.</p><p>“But we’re gonna give it a chance, right? Because it’s got three bedrooms, big windows and spacious backyard as per your specifications”.</p><p> “We’re really excited to see the inside”, Christen says. “Maybe we’ll change our minds”.</p><p>“Alright, well, I’m the lady with they key so follow me”, Crystal says cheerily and begins walking up the path, with Christen and Tobin in tow.</p><p>“This is exciting, right?”, Christen whispers over to Tobin.</p><p>“Yeah, very exciting”, Tobin says and manages an askew smile. She’s been having the hardest time dealing with her feelings for Christen.</p><p>She wasn’t sure when in started, but she knew long before the tree house that she had feelings for Christen. Romantic feelings. Feelings she's never had before, or maybe she did and she’s been repressing them for years out of fear that Christen might not feel the same way. The wedding and then the little honeymoon they went on just reinforced how she really feels about her now wife.</p><p>After the tree house excursion, they went back to the city, back to their separate apartments. And she missed Christen so much. She missed waking up next to her even if she’d only been able to experience it once.</p><p>She thought about Christen all the time, wondering if she should tell her how she feels and risk everything, or if she should keep it to herself and enjoy the relationship they have now. Maybe this was all they were meant to be. Maybe this was as good as it gets and Tobin didn’t want to ruin that.</p><p>“Are you okay?”, Christen asks, sensing that something was wrong.</p><p>“I’m fine… just, uh, anxious about seeing the house”, Tobin lies.</p><p>Christen puts a reassuring arm around Tobin’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine… and hey, maybe we’ll love this place”.</p><p>--</p><p>They both kinda hate the house. It’s too cramped. All three of the bedrooms are really close together, there weren’t enough power outlets or closet space and Christen didn’t like the kitchen.</p><p>The backyard was a dream though. Luscious green grass, a family sized swimming pool that wasn’t too deep, a woodfire pizza oven, which Christen thought was a nice touch and large deck, which would be great if they ever wanted to dine al fresco or entertain guests.</p><p>But that isn’t enough to sway them, so Crystal takes them to the second house that meet their specs.</p><p>The second house is only a five-minute drive away from the first one, but it seems like a quieter neighborhood with less traffic and it wasn’t right on a corner. It was a white, colonial style house with a black roof and door. All the windows sills were painted black, too, and it gives the house a really clean, timeless look.</p><p>“Here we are. House number two…and even if I may say so myself, quite a beauty”, Crystal croons as watches the couple get out of their car.</p><p>The house really <em>is</em> beautiful, the black and white contrasting so beautifully with each other.</p><p>“Wow”, Tobin says underneath her breath.</p><p>“I know, right?”, Christen says.</p><p>“You ladies ready see the inside?”, Crystal asks.</p><p>--</p><p>“Bay windows aren’t very common in this neighborhood, but the previous owners had them installed. It really gives the kitchen a very open and light feel”, Crystal says as they walk about in the kitchen.</p><p>“It is a little smaller than we wanted, right?”, Christen asks.</p><p>“Yeah, but I like it. It’s got a walk-in pantry”, Tobin says.</p><p>“That’s pretty cute, I like that”. Christen admits.</p><p>--</p><p>“I’m sure you’re eager to see the bedroom”, Crystal says and she’s more giddy than Tobin or Christen. “It’s actually really beautiful, but let me show you”. She opens the door and reveals the beautiful, spacious room. “This room really is the selling point of the entire house. Everyone I’ve showed it to really loves this bedroom”.</p><p>“It’s quite lovely”, Christen says. “And I love the chair and desk right by the windows”.</p><p>Crystal clasps her hands together. “I know, right. It’s the perfect place to sit and do some work while enjoying the blissful, suburban scenery”.</p><p>Christen walks over to the built-in closets and a small frown appears on her face. “Not a lot of space in here”.</p><p>“Hmm, that could be a problem for two people”, Crystal notices and joins Christen in checking out the closets.</p><p>Tobin, who’s been quiet for the most part and just allowing Christen to do all the talking since she’s the one with a keen sense of style, also takes a step closer.</p><p>“The previous owner was unmarried so she didn’t have to share the closet space with anyone”, Crystal notes. “It might even work for a couple if they don’t have a lot of clothes”.</p><p>Christen laughs. “It’s definitely not going to work for us. Tobin buys everything she sees”.</p><p>“Oh yes, I’m the one with the shopping problem”, the brunette fires back with an eyeroll.</p><p>In reality, this was a non-issue. They’re not going to share a room and the closet space would be just big enough for all of Christen’s clothing. But they have to play along, they have to keep up this appearance of being a perfectly normal couple.</p><p>“I love this house, but I’m not sure about this closet”, Christen says and bites at her lip. “What do you think, Tobs?”</p><p>“I will build you a closet; a walk-in closet”, Tobin says before she can stop herself. “I’m sure there’s enough space here to expand, don’t worry about it”.</p><p>“Really?”, the doctor asks with a slightly raised eyebrow.</p><p>“Of course. You know I was a contractor is a past life, how hard can it be? If we decide to buy this house, I’ll do it”.</p><p>Christen looks at Tobin incredulously, and the brunette just smiles in return.</p><p>These last five weeks she’s been so enamoured by her wife that’s she’s doing really corny things; bringing her lunch every day, going on runs with her, everything she can just to spend a little bit more time with her. Now she’s offered to build her a whole freakin’ closet?</p><p>“Well, I need a woman like you in my life”, Crystal says to break the building awkward silence. “Let’s check out the <em>en suite</em> bathroom and spoiler; it has the most amazing bathtub, you’re gonna love it”.</p><p>--</p><p>“Here you go”. Christen puts down a plate of sweet and sour chicken with a side salad down in front of Tobin.</p><p>“Thank you, I’m starving”.</p><p>“So…”, the younger woman says as she stabs at the salad on her plate.</p><p>“So…”, Tobin repeats, not looking up from hers.</p><p>“What did you think of the houses we viewed today? Did you like them?”</p><p>“I liked the realtor, she was nice”, Tobin says and eats a piece of chicken off her fork.</p><p>Christen crosses her arms and tilts her head to the side. “That’s all you’re gonna say?”</p><p>“Alright then, I liked the second house. It was really beautiful and it had everything we wanted”.</p><p>“But?”</p><p>“But nothing”, Tobin says and takes a sip of water. “It was perfect”.</p><p>Christen frowns. “Are you sure? It’s a little over the budget we discussed…”</p><p>Tobin puts her knife and fork down and looks to her wife. “It’s still within our price range, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yeah, but…”, Christen picks at the food on her plate with her fork. “…I don’t want us to be stuck with a mortgage we can’t pay off”.</p><p>“I’m sure we’ll be fine”, Tobin says. “I mean, that’s why I married a rich doctor”, she says and winks.</p><p>“So what I’m hearing is, you like the house and you think we should buy it?”</p><p>Tobin smiles and gives an assured now. “I like the house; I think we should buy it”.</p><p>“Yes, yes, yes!”, Christen says and jumps out of her chair and into Tobin’s lap. “I’m so happy”.</p><p>“You know all I wanna do is make you happy”, Tobin says and wraps her arms around Christen’s waist. She misses these moments; the times when Christen’s this close to her. She just wants to breathe in how wonderful her wife smells; so delicate and sweet. It just feels good to hold her, even if it’s just for a few seconds.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get all crazy, I’m just so excited”, she says as she climbs off of Tobin.</p><p>“No need to apologize, I’m excited, too”, Tobin says and gives a sweet smile.</p><p>--</p><p>Christen invites Tobin over on a Friday night with the promise of pizza and beer, if she helps her pack. They were moving in on Monday and she still had so stuff to pack up.</p><p>The majority of the bigger stuff was already at their new house; beds, dining tables and the like. They had come together and decided which appliances to keep and which to pawn. Tobin had the brilliant idea of selling whatever duplicates they had and using the money to buy something they could use in the new house.</p><p>“Are you seriously taking all of your clothes? You know, this would be a great time to donate some of this stuff. How many Stanford tee-shirts and sweaters do you really need?”, Tobin jokes as she stuffs jeans into a suitcase.</p><p>“I’ve already put of a box of clothes that I wanna donate to the side, these are the clothes I wear so yes, I am taking them all with me”.</p><p>“I threw out a bunch of stuff, too. I figured since we’re going to live in the suburbs I should start dressing like, I don’t know, not a stoner”.</p><p>Christen looks up. “There’s nothing wrong with the way you dress”.</p><p>“Are you sure?”, Tobin asks underneath her breath.</p><p>“Yes? Why does this feel like… I don’t know, a deeper issue?”, Christen asks and stands with her hands on her hips.</p><p>“Because I… I don’t know”, Tobin begins, packing clothes into suitcases without looking up. “I’m your wife now and I wanna look good next to you”.</p><p>“Are you kidding? Tobin”, Christen says and lets out an exasperated sigh. “Have you not seen our wedding pictures? Heck, just look in a mirror. Of course you look good next to me. You’d look good next to anyone”. She sighs and tosses a shirt over at her best friend. “You’re the most confident person I know, start acting like it”.</p><p>“You’re right, I’m sorry… This big move has just… it’s made everything more real”.</p><p>“I know”, Christen says with a pout. She walks over and hugs Tobin from behind. She can tell her best friend needs it. She knows Tobin better than anyone else and she’s noticed that Tobin’s been going through a difficult time, probably getting used to all these big changes in their lives. “But I’m here and we’re gonna do this together”.</p><p>“Thank you”, Tobin says.</p><p>“Let’s take a break”, Christen says and lets go of Tobin. “I’m sure we still have some pizza left, come on”, she says and pulls at Tobin’s arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think we’re ready to live together?”, Tobin asks as they eat reheated pizza and drink wine while sitting on the hardwood floor.</p><p>“I think so… I mean, it’s us… and we’re great together”.</p><p>“Yes, but we’ve never lived together. We’ve never shared a space with each other for longer than a day”.</p><p>“I know we can make it work. I won’t be in your way, if that’s what you’re afraid of”.</p><p>“No, no, it’s not like that. I just… I just don’t wanna mess everything up between us”.</p><p>“You won’t”, Christen sighs and leans over towards her best friend. “I can’t think of anyone better to live with than you. You’re my best friend, Tobin”.</p><p>The brunette gives a small smile. “You’re right…”.</p><p>“Of course I am”, Christen teases.</p><p>Maybe she was being a little to blasé about the whole thing; of course moving in was going to be a big adjustment that could blow up in their faces. But she wasn’t going to tell Tobin that. It seemed like Tobin needed reassurance and she was going to provide it even if she was just as nervous deep down.</p><p>--</p><p>The thing about moving was that it meant a string of late nights. Late nights packing up all of Christen’s things, late nights packing up all of Tobin’s things and then unpacking all of it once they finally move into their new house.</p><p>They both took two days off from work to complete the move and get used to their new surroundings. Tobin’s mom and Jeff as well and Ali and Ashlyn came over to help and even though they appreciated it, it was nice and quiet once everyone left.</p><p>Tobin’s lying on her back in the middle of the living room floor, exhausted after a long day of unloading boxes, moving furniture around and just the general lack of sleep of the last few days.</p><p>“I think we should buy new end tables, what do you think?”, Christen asks as she makes her way from the kitchen. “Aww, are you tired?”, she asks when she sees Tobin on the floor.</p><p>“Yes”, Tobin says with a sigh.</p><p>Christen sticks her bottom lip in a pout. “Be right back”, she says and hurries off to the kitchen, returning a minute later with two beers and a can of Pringles. “Look what I got”. She sits down next to Tobin and pulls her up.</p><p>“Two beers?”, Tobin asks with a tired smile.</p><p>“I thought I’d have one with you”.</p><p>“And Pringles? Damn, married life’s changed you”, Tobin jokes as she takes a bottle from Christen’s hand.</p><p>“I feel like we should toast… to something”</p><p>“We could toast to a happy marriage?”, Tobin suggests.</p><p>Christen smiles. “Perfect”. She clinks her bottle gently against Tobin’s. “Now, come on”, she says and goes to kneel behind Tobin’s back, placing her bottle of beer on the floor next to her. “Let me give you a neck rub”.</p><p>“Y-you don’t have to do that”, Tobin stammers quickly.</p><p>“I kinda have to, wifely duties and all”, Christen whispers against her ear and begins kneading into Tobin’s shoulders.</p><p>The brunette takes a deep breath and wonders just how she’s going to deal with her feelings for Christen now that they’re living under the same roof.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">September</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>“I’m loving this ‘eating-for-two’ thing”, Alex says and takes another bite of her chocolate donut.</p><p>Christen smiles. “Being pregnant is not an excuse to eat donuts for breakfast, Alex”.</p><p>“You and your constant nagging. I honestly don’t know how Tobin puts up with it”.</p><p>Christen snickers. “I’ll have you know we have a great home life”.</p><p>“I mean, I didn’t wanna pry, but since we’re talking about it…”</p><p>“Yeah right”, Christen laughs. “You’re the nosiest person I know. I’m sure you were just waiting for me to bring up Tobin so you could ask about it”.</p><p>“Well yeah. You guys are my best friends and I care about you. I wanna know that you’re happy and that everything is going well. I know how stressful moving house can be and I know that living with a partner can get tense sometimes”.</p><p>“Moving was crazy, but the first two weeks have been great”, Christen says and takes a sip of coffee. “Tobin’s a very considerate housemate… you know, to live with”, she says quickly.</p><p>Maybe ‘housemate’ was a bit prosaic, but it was true; Tobin was a very good housemate. She cleaned up after herself, she didn’t make a lot of noise and she always did her chores on time. And it was just nice coming home in the evening and having Tobin there.  </p><p>“Considerate? Interesting choice of words there”, Alex laughs.</p><p>“Pleasant, fun… all good words to describe my experience with sharing a house with her”.</p><p>“So you guys don’t have any fights about leaving wet towels on the floor or putting empty milk cartons back in the fridge?”</p><p>“No, because it’s not a 90’s sitcom”.</p><p>Alex grins and has another bite of her donut. “Sounds like you two are just the perfect couple then”.</p><p>“We’re not perfect”, Christen says and her eyebrows knit together in a small frown. “We just have ways of getting along, even when we’re not supposed to get along”. A small smile ghosts over her lips. “I guess when you’re in love with someone, even big things like living together become easy”.</p><p>Alex says something in return, but the words don’t register with Christen because she’s trying to figure out what she just said. She couldn’t have actually said that she was in love with Tobin, could she? The words that she said couldn’t have been her own. She couldn’t possibly have said that she was in love with her best friends…</p><p>“Are you alright?”, Alex asks with an arched brow.</p><p>“Y-yeah, yeah. I’m good”, Christen says and smiles.</p><p>“Oh… Because you just went really quiet for a few seconds”.</p><p>“I was… I remembered something that I had to… Why don’t you just finish your breakfast donut because we have a lot of shopping to do today”, Christen manages to say.</p><p> </p><p>Christen’s mind is somewhere else for the entire duration of her day out with Alex. She was supposed to help Alex pick out clothes for the baby, but she can’t focus on anything other than her own thoughts. They were gnawing at her, eating at her subconscious until there was nothing left other than memories and feelings that she thought were long gone.</p><p>She couldn’t have meant it. It was a Freudian slip… Wait, no! That’s not good either, because that would mean that she actually is in love with Tobin. And she couldn’t be. She wasn’t. She isn’t.</p><p>Even as she was driving home, she still couldn’t come to terms with what she said earlier. The words came so naturally and so effortlessly, and they sounded so good coming from her mouth. But she can’t feel that way about Tobin.</p><p>Tobin was supposed to be her best friend; someone she married because it was convenient and simple. And yes, she <em>loved</em> her, but she wasn’t <em>in love</em> with her. Sure, she loved living with Tobin, cooking for her, caring for her, but what they have is just a very strong friendship. It’s all she wants… More importantly, it’s all Tobin wants. If Tobin wanted more, she would’ve said so years ago. She would’ve kissed Christen on prom night, when they were slow-dancing and the younger girl brushed her hand along Tobin’s cheek and leaned forward, challenging Tobin to kiss her.</p><p>But she didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Christen sighs as she walks into the house. She finds Tobin in the kitchen making a sandwich.</p><p>“You’re back”, Tobin says. “How’s Alex?”, she asks as she licks mayo off of a spoon.</p><p>“She’s good… Serv’s good… the baby’s good”, Christen says and places a grocery bag on the counter. “I bought some groceries. Thought I could make duck tonight”.</p><p>“Sure, sounds great”, Tobin says and puts the lettuce and mayo back in the fridge. “Wanna play video games with me?”</p><p>Christen smiles but shakes her head ‘no’. “I’m really tired actually, all that walking around and shopping… I think I’m gonna go lay down for a bit”.</p><p>“Oh… Okay”, Tobin says and manages a smile. “I’ll be in my room if you need me”.</p><p>--</p><p>Christen’s quiet during dinner, only picking at her food and staring down at her plate instead of looking at Tobin.</p><p>She can’t be in love with Tobin. Not when she spent years training herself not to think about her friend in that way. She shoved her feelings down so deep that there’s no way they could resurface years later. She thought she was over it. She moved to California, stayed there for five years, dated other people and for what? To be the same eighteen-year-old girl who’s got a crush on her best friend?</p><p>“Are you okay?”, Tobin asks. “You’ve been quiet the whole night”.</p><p>“I’m fine”.</p><p>“You’re not”.</p><p>“I am”.</p><p>Tobin sighs and continues eating her dinner.</p><p>There’s silence, with only the forks and knives clinging against the plate making any noise. Tobin continues eating at the moderate pace, Christen continues staring down at her plate, distracted by her own thoughts.</p><p>“This is silly”, Tobin says and puts her utensils down. “Chris, you know you can tell me anything, right? If something’s bothering you, you have to let me know. Maybe I can fix it”.</p><p>“You can’t fix it”, Christen says quickly. “I mean… I’m just a little overwhelmed, with work and everything”, she offers a polite smile. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I just need to rest. Maybe I’ll sleep in tomorrow”.</p><p>“Yeah definitely… And I’m here if things get too stressful… I can do some of your chores and we can go out tomorrow. Have dinner somewhere so you don’t have to cook”.</p><p>“That’s… that’s a great idea. I think that’s exactly what I need”, Christen answers softly.</p><p>“Great”, Tobin says and drums her fingers on the table. “Now will you please eat something? This duck you made is really good and you’re haven’t even tasted it yet”, she says and nods down to Christen’s full plate.</p><p>“Okay, okay”, Christen says. “I’ll eat”.</p><p>--</p><p>In the days that pass, it doesn’t get any easier for Christen. She’s still confused by own feelings. She still can’t accept them. She can’t accept the fact that she brought this all on herself by initiating this marriage and going through with it even though she knew that deep down the schoolgirl crush she had on Tobin was still there.</p><p>And maybe that’s why she got jealous when girls flirted with Tobin. Or why she would find any excuse to touch her or hold her…</p><p>Tobin’s her usual friendly self; bringing her lunch when she knows she’s going to be busy or buying flowers to liven up the house. And Christen knows she’s been weird and distant and that she’s not been the best friend that Tobin deserves, but she’s dealing with things she hasn’t had to deal with for a really long time and it’s hard. At work she can focus on the task at hand, but once she gets home she’s reminded of how her feelings could betray her at any moment.</p><p>Today she gets home from work a little later than usual and the smell of garlic browning in olive oil greets her by the door. She shrugs off her coat and puts her purse down, and then walks to the kitchen where she finds Tobin.</p><p>“Oh hey, you’re home!”, she says excitedly. “I’m making dinner”.</p><p>Christen lets out a chuckle. “It kinda looks like you’re making a mess, not cooking dinner”.</p><p>“Hey! You try making pasta from scratch without spilling a little flour”, Tobin says. “I’m making ravioli. Your favourite”.</p><p>“You mean your favourite?”</p><p>“Anyway”, Tobin says and it makes Christen smile. “I thought you could take the night off, watching some tv or read while I finish up here”.</p><p>“Hmm, sounds perfect… there’s gotta be a catch here somewhere”.</p><p>“No catch”, Tobin says with a happy grin. “I’ll even clean up afterwards. I just want you to have a relaxing night with no responsibilities. Let me take care of everything”.</p><p>If the words weren’t enough to make her swoon, Tobin in a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled-up and an apron sure is.</p><p>“I’m gonna go take a bath then”, Christen says.</p><p>“Great… take a nice long bath, dinner will be done in half an hour”.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p>It’s a few weeks late, but they have a housewarming on the weekend and invite all their friends. Christen organizes the food and Tobin sorts out the drinks. They’re both pretty impressed by how good they are with this sort of thing.</p><p>A few minutes before their guests are due, Tobin’s in the lounge, making sure all the throw pillows were displayed exactly the way Christen instructed. She looks up and sees her beautiful wife coming down the stairs and she has to catch her breath.</p><p>“This isn’t too much, is it?”, Christen asks, nervously tugging at the seam of her skin-tight black dress. It was short, but it wasn’t revealing; with long sleeves and a crew neck. But it accentuates all of her womanly lines and curves and makes her legs look even longer than they already are.</p><p>“No, it’s… it’s great. You look really good”, Tobin says curtly. She wants to say so much more; wants to walk over to her and give her a kiss and tell her she’s the most beautiful woman in the world…but she can’t. And she shouldn’t even be thinking about it because it just makes her heart hurt more. She clears her throat. “I’m gonna go… check to see if we’ve got enough ice”.</p><p>“Okay”, Christen says and watches as Tobin practically runs off to the kitchen. She was so strange sometimes. So wacky and weird and perfect.</p><p>Christen sighs because she knows the words are close and they’re threatening to cross her mind again. All the old memories want to resurface, no matter how long they’ve been hidden on the floor of the ocean.</p><p>Luckily, before anything else can happen, the doorbell rings and it serves as a timely distraction from the waves that were gathering in her mind.</p><p> </p><p>Christen loves playing hostess.</p><p>She makes sure everyone’s glasses stay topped up, she caters to everyone’s tastes with the food she serves. It’s like she’s made for nights like these, and Tobin just watches from the sidelines, impressed, but not at all surprised, by her effervescence  </p><p>“Could you stop undressing your wife with your eyes? Just wait a couple hours until we leave”, Allie says and pokes at Tobin’s shoulder.</p><p>“What?”, the brunette asks, still distracted by Christen.</p><p>“God, you’re obsessed with Christen”, Allie jokes.</p><p>“What? No. No, I’m not”.</p><p>“Dude, it’s okay… She’s your wife and she’s incredibly hot, of course you’re gonna be infatuated with her”, Allie says with a shrug. “Plus, you’re newlyweds and everything is still so… passionate”.</p><p>Tobin scoffs. “I hope you’re not trying to steer the conversation into a… sexual direction”.</p><p>“Oh come on, I tell you all about my sex life”.</p><p>“Yeah, because you have no filter. Not because I ask, because I never do”.</p><p>“I thought you loved our girl talk”</p><p>“I tolerate your explicit... girl talk”, Tobin says with a bemused look on her face. “But, and I’m only going to say this once, I will not talk about my sex life with you”.</p><p>The blonde pouts and the sighs dramatically. “Alright, I won’t ask about your sex life…. But just tell me how good the sex is now that you’re married”, Allie asks casually over her glass of white wine.</p><p>“You know… it’s…”, Tobin nervously plays with the top button of her shirt. “…great”.</p><p>It’s almost like Christen knows Tobin’s in trouble, because she makes her way across the room and interjects before Allie can ask anything else.</p><p>“Hey Allie, you having a good time?”, she asks.</p><p>“Yeah, I am… Just catching up with Tobs…”</p><p>“You mind if I steal her way though, just for a few seconds?”, Christen asks.</p><p>“Go right ahead… I should really go save my husband from all the lesbians”, she jokes and walks off.</p><p>“Come on, you”, Christen says and pulls Tobin by the arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay?”, the doctor asks once they’re in the kitchen.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine… I just… need some air. Fresh air”, Tobin says.</p><p>Christen walks over and opens one of the windows. “Better?”, she asks as a cool breeze fills the kitchen.</p><p>“Yeah, much better”, Tobin says with a sigh.</p><p>“Are you having fun?”, she asks with a look of concern on her face.</p><p>“Yeah, I am. Not as much as you though, you love seem to be loving this and I thought you hated being the center of attention”.</p><p>“That’s still true, but I love being the host. When I was little my mom used to have dinner parties and I’d just be in awe of her. She was so beautiful, so poised… The lady of the house… Growing up, I wanted to be just like her”.</p><p>“Well”, Tobin says and offers a smile. “You’re every bit as gracious and beautiful as your mom. And you’re certainly the lady of this house… I’m just the other lady who also lives here”.</p><p>Christen purses her lips together to keep from smiling. “I think we should get back out there… you go ahead, I’ll just close the window”.</p><p>Once Tobin is out of the kitchen and Christen’s closed the window, she leans with her back against the counter, takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.</p><p>It’s hard keeping up appearances. It’s hard having to lie to everyone, including herself. So she doesn’t try anymore. </p><p>She’s in love with Tobin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">October</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>It’s a cold morning on the court and Tobin’s feeling a bit flu-y while training with Kelsey. The Rogers’ have taken their daughter out of regular school so she can devote the majority of her time to tennis. She was only fourteen but she had a lot of potential, which Tobin had seen during their first session together two years ago.</p><p>“Alright, we gotta work on that back elbow now, Kels. You’re not hitting it with enough venom, it’s a bit slow”, the brunette says and covers her mouth to cough. “The more power you have on that back elbow, the harder you’ll be to play against”.</p><p>“I know and I appreciate the advice Coach, but maybe we should take a break. You don’t look too good”.</p><p>“Well, that’s mean”, Tobin jokes and coughs again. “Come on, let’s get going. We’ve got twenty minutes left”.</p><p>“Okay then”, the teenager says with a sigh. “So Coach, how’s Dr. Press-Heath? And when do I get to meet her?”</p><p>Tobin nearly spits out her energy drink. She’s been telling Kelsey about Christen because she just loves talking about Christen, and since her friends all think they’ve been together for a while, she can’t exactly wax lyrical about her wife to them. Kelsey was the perfect person to talk to – she was young, bright-eyed and so eager to learn all about life and love. She was pretty much as obsessed with Christen as Tobin was at this point. But this had been the first time she’s asked about her.</p><p>“Oh, she’s good”.</p><p>“I might have stalked her Instagram… I hope that’s okay”.</p><p>Tobin grins. “It’s public, isn’t it?”</p><p>“I can’t get over how pretty she is. And her Instagram is sooo aesthetic. She seems like such a cool person”, the teenager says.</p><p>“She’s great…”</p><p>“Which begs the question, when are you going to introduce her to your favorite student?”</p><p>Tobin smiles and shrugs. “I have no idea, maybe one day. Now let’s work on that back elbow”.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of Tobin’s day doesn’t go as well.</p><p>Her flu symptoms only get worse the longer the day goes and during a midday session where she plays doubles with three older ladies who belong to the club, she twists her ankle.</p><p>She tells the ladies she’s okay, but her ankle hurts and she spends her lunchbreak looking for ice to soak it in.</p><p>Her final session is with Drew, a ten-year-old boy with raw talent who still needs a lot of coaching and self-belief instilled in him. Tobin hopes she can be the one to help him with both. Today she has to coach from the umpire’s chair because she can’t stand without it hurting.</p><p>“Alright buddy, you did good today”, she says and struggles down the steps.</p><p>“Are you okay, Coach Tobin?”, the blonde boy asks with a look of concern on his face.</p><p>“Yeah, I just hurt my ankle earlier. I’m getting old”, she laughs.</p><p>“Is it the same ankle you hurt in the Open?”, he asks innocently.</p><p>Tobin smiles and gives a shake of the head. “Nope, it’s the other one”.</p><p>“Is it sore?”</p><p>“A little bit yeah, but I’ll be okay. Good thing it’s Friday today”, she says and fluffs his mop of blonde curls. “Come Monday I’ll be alright”.</p><p>She waits until Drew’s mom comes to pick him up before she goes to her office to pack up her stuff and go home.</p><p>--</p><p>Christen unlocks the door, hangs her coat on the rack and puts her purse down. She sighs and walks into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.</p><p>She knows Tobin’s home; her car was in the garage already and she was usually home before Christen most days. Usually she’d be out on the porch, doing the crossword puzzle in the paper she buys solely for that purpose. But as it got colder, Christen often found her in the lounge, already in pajamas, watching sports.</p><p>Today she’s on the couch, but she’s still in her work clothes – a tee-shirt and shorts, despite the biting cold.</p><p>“Good afternoon”, Christen says.</p><p>“Hey”.</p><p>“I see you’re still in your tennis clothes… on the couch”, Christen says and raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“I don’t wanna get up, my body hurts”.</p><p>Christen, who was about to chastise Tobin for lying on the couch with her dirty clothes, immediately rushes over. “What happened?”</p><p>“I twisted my ankle today”, the brunette whines. “And I think I might be coming down with something”, she says.</p><p>Christen places her hand on Tobin’s forehead. “You’re burning up”.</p><p>“It’s probably just a cold or a flu…”</p><p>“How long have you been feeling ill?”</p><p>“I dunno, a day or two?”</p><p>“Are you asking me or telling me?”</p><p>“Telling?”</p><p>“Tobin…” Christen sighs and gets back up on her feet. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”</p><p>“You’re not my doctor”.</p><p>“But I’m your wife”.</p><p>There’s a sudden silence and it lasts for an eternity of five seconds.</p><p>“I should’ve told you, but I didn’t want you to worry. I’m sorry”.</p><p>“It’s okay, I probably overreacted. I just… You work so hard and now you’re sick and you’re hurt and…”</p><p>“I’ll live”, Tobin says with a smile.</p><p>“Will you let me take care of you? Until you feel better?”, Christen asks.</p><p>Tobin nods. “Alright, Doc”.</p><p>Christen smiles sweetly. “The first thing you need is a bath”.</p><p>“Wow, thanks for telling me I stink”.</p><p>Christen rolls her eyes. “Not for that reason… A bath will help you relax and it’ll be good for your ankle, too”.</p><p>“I don’t take baths”.</p><p>“You do now. I’m gonna run you a bath infused with mint oil and all sorts of things, it’ll be so relaxing”.</p><p>“Did you say ‘all sorts of <em>things</em>’?”, Tobin asks with an arch eyebrow.</p><p>Christen laughs. “I’ll go get the bath started”.</p><p> </p><p>Tobin’s never been in Christen’s bathroom. She’s never been in Christen’s bedroom either, but she loves it. It’s all sage green and white with gold accents. And it smells amazing. Like vanilla or something sweet like that.</p><p>“Come on, don’t be scared; it’s just a room”. Christen says. She helped Tobin up the stairs, but now the brunette was stalling by the door.</p><p>“I just…”</p><p>“You have my permission”, Christen laughs. “You were gonna see my room anyway, right?”</p><p>
  <em>What could that even mean?</em>
</p><p>She allows Christen to guide her into the bedroom and then the bathroom.</p><p>It’s pristine, everything ivory and perfect. The bathtub was huge and it was filled with warm water and foamy bubbles floating on top. The whole bathroom smells like a combination of mint and lavender.</p><p>“I dimmed the lights, should give the bedroom a nice relaxing atmosphere”, Christen says in a hushed tone. “I put lavender bath salts in water that should help with relaxation and with your ankle. The mint oil should be good for your flu. Open up your airways”.</p><p>“You really went through all that trouble for me?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>“Of course I did. I love you…”, Christen says. “You’re my best friend”, she adds quickly and laughs nervously. “Do you need help getting in the bathtub?”</p><p>“I-I’ll manage”, Tobin says.</p><p>“Okay… Is it cool if I get your pajamas from your room?”</p><p>“Yeah sure, just check the top drawer”.</p><p>Tobin relaxes once she hears the door click close behind her. She undresses and climbs into the bathtub. The water’s just the right side of warm and she closes her eyes and allows herself to be enveloped by the water.</p><p>Christen was right, baths <em>are</em> really relaxing. And she didn’t realize just how tired she really was. Coaching tennis and the occasional match with students or members of the club meant that she was always exercising, always running around.</p><p>She sighs happily.</p><p>--</p><p>Tobin finally wills herself out of the bathtub after half an hour, dries and then wraps herself in the fluffy towel. Christen has laid out pajamas for her, but she’s more occupied with the fact that she’s also left underwear there. It’s weird thinking Christen searched through her drawers like that.</p><p>She gets dressed and hobbles down the stairs. Christen’s in the kitchen. She looks up and gives a smile. “How was your bath?”, she asks.</p><p>“It was good… I liked it”.</p><p>“I’m making chicken soup. It should be done in another fifteen minutes”.</p><p>“You seriously didn’t have to go through all the trouble. I would’ve been happy with a peanut butter sandwich”.</p><p>Christen shakes her head ‘no’. “I said I’d take care of you and you said you’d let me. I don’t wanna hear anymore of this ‘trouble I’m going through’. Now go relax in the lounge, watch some Brooklyn Nine-Nine and I’ll be in with your soup in a few minutes”.</p><p>“Alright”, Tobin says and gives a smile. “Thanks”.</p><p> </p><p>Christen brings in the soup a few minutes later and while Tobin eats, she applies muscle rub in her ankle and expertly wraps it in a compression wrap to help with the swelling.</p><p>“You sure love being a doctor, don’t you?”, Tobin jokes over her bowl of soup.</p><p>“It’s my Hippocratic duty to save lives and heal people and yes”, Christen says as she takes on final look at the ankle she’s wrapped. “… I love being a doctor”.</p><p>“That’s funny… I remember an eighteen-year-old girl who was having a panic attack in my room the night she found out she got accepted to Stanford, crying because she didn’t think she was smart enough to go there or smart enough to be pre-med”.</p><p>Christen rolls her eyes. “I was young then… I had to learn about self-confidence”.</p><p>“Yeah”, Tobin muses. “You weren’t blessed with <em>my</em> confidence, were you?”</p><p>“Oh right, you were so confident that you couldn’t even ask whats-her-name to go to prom with you and you ended up going with me”, Christen quips.</p><p>“You mean Hope?”, Tobin laughs.</p><p>“Yeah… you were into her, weren’t you?”</p><p>“No!”, Tobin says and laughs again. “Hope was pretty and all, but I was never interested in her”.</p><p>“Well, you always stayed after school to watch us practice for the debate team and you never missed a debate night”, Christen says, cocking an eyebrow.</p><p>“I didn’t go to watch her… I went to watch you”, Tobin answers simply. Softly.</p><p>“Oh…”</p><p>The brunette smiles. “I loved watching you argue and reason and make those bratty boys from Hazlewood High look dumb”.</p><p>“I always stuttered over my words”, Christen notes softly. “I always felt like the dumb one”.</p><p>“Are you kidding? You were amazing, Chris”.</p><p>The green-eyed woman smiles. “I guess I just had a hard time seeing that back in high school. I always thought I was kinda… plain, ordinary. And I had a best friend who was playing professional tennis already and who had so many friends…”</p><p>“Well”, Tobin says and smiles. “…you were my friend when I wore the same orange beanie every day for two straight years and everyone else thought I was weird. Before I was Tobin the tennis player, I was Tobin your best friend. And you were mine and you were far from ordinary”.</p><p>Christen swallows down the lump in her throat. A million thoughts run through her mind at once. She knows she could say anything right now, but there’s just one question she needs the answer to.</p><p>“Why didn’t you kiss me that night?”, she finally asks and it feels like a hundred thousand tons of weight have dropped from her shoulders.</p><p>Tobin’s eyes are cast left, then right, as she tries to figure out what Christen is talking about. Then she remembers.</p><p>Senior prom. On the dancefloor. Christen’s arms around her shoulders and her green eyes carefully searching for hers. She was young and beautiful, so full of promise and so perfectly delicate. And Tobin was, well, she had a messy future ahead of her. Hectic training schedules, moving to Miami to train with a new coach, travelling the world. Tennis was going to be her future. Tennis was going to be her life.</p><p>She wanted to kiss Christen; of course she did. She wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but she couldn’t. They were going their separate ways. Christen was going to California and she was going to Florida – they’d be miles and miles apart and it would hurt to be so far away from the girl she loved.</p><p>And if the distance didn’t kill them, her lifestyle probably would. Long hours of training, always on the road, even the celebrity that came from being a famous sportsperson. Christen didn’t want that. She wanted a simple life, a house and kids and dogs. Tobin wasn’t sure if she could ever give that to Christen. So she didn’t kiss her. She couldn’t lead her on like that.</p><p>But she didn’t think that Christen still thought about that night and that dance and that almost kiss. Clearly she did; does. And she wants an answer. Right now.</p><p> “Y-you were… you were leaving and I was leaving and it just wasn’t the right time for us”.</p><p>“I suppose”, Christen says and gets up from the coffee table she was sitting on. She turns to walk to the kitchen but is pulled back by the hand by Tobin.</p><p>“I wanted to”, she says carefully. “I really wanted to kiss you that night, Christen. And so many other nights before then and after then… But it just never felt like the right time”.</p><p>The doctor turns around slowly, once again searching for her wife’s eyes. “You should’ve kissed me”, she says and walks to the kitchen.</p><p>“You could’ve kissed me, you know”, Tobin calls out and struggles to get on her on good foot. Once she does, she follows Christen to the kitchen. “You could’ve kissed me”, she says again.</p><p>“I knew how I felt about you back then… I just needed you to show me that you felt the same way and you didn’t or couldn’t…”</p><p>“We were both leaving and we didn’t know if we would ever come back to Portland”, Tobin answers quickly.</p><p>“You’re right”, Christen says and takes out a bottle of water from the fridge. “I shouldn’t have brought it up… that was a long time ago and we’re not the same people we were back then”.</p><p>There’s silence and Tobin thinks she hears her own heartbeat. Or maybe it was Christen’s… she’s not even sure.</p><p>“Are we… okay?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>“Yes”, Christen says and offers a small smile. “We’re fine”.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Christen and Tobin give each other space for the rest of the weekend. Christen still prepares her food and checks her ankle, but they don’t say more than three words to each other.</p><p>Sunday night, while Tobin’s on the couch flipping through the channels, Christen appears in the doorway.</p><p>“Can we talk?”, she asks.</p><p>“Sure”, Tobin says and turns the volume lower. She watches as Christen joins her on the couch. She looks tired, almost like she hasn’t been sleeping well. “What’s up?”</p><p>“Friday night… We both said some things that… I’m sorry for bringing up prom night. It was a really long time ago. A lot has changed since then. We grew up”.</p><p>Tobin nods. “We did”, she says and sighs. “But that doesn’t mean that we’re not still a little bit the same… right?”</p><p>Christen gives a small smile. “Tobin, you are my best friend and my favourite person in the world. And… and I wouldn’t trade our friendship for anything”.</p><p>The brunette could feel her heart breaking into a million pieces. Christen’s words caused physical pain – a pang through her chest that made a lump form in her throat.</p><p>Christen was biting back the tears as she spoke. “And I’m so lucky to have you in my life”.</p><p>Tobin smiles despite the ache in her chest. “I feel the same about you”.</p><p>Christen lets out a breath of relief. “I’m glad we could talk this out… I hate when there’s tension between us”. She’s about to get up from the couch, but Tobin’s arm across her waist stops her. She looks up, questioning Tobin wordlessly through the look in her eyes.</p><p>“You’ve said what you needed to say… I haven’t”, the older woman says.</p><p>Christen swallows deeply.</p><p>“I love you”, the brunette says. “I’ve always loved you… I’ve always been <em>in love</em> with you… I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way, I just need to say it out loud because I’ve been holding in for far too long now”.</p><p>Christen opens her mouth to speak, but she has no words.</p><p>“I love you, Christen and I know I’m putting our friendship into jeopardy by saying this but… but I need to tell you. You have to know how I feel about you because it’s killing me every second you don’t”.</p><p>“Tobin, just…”, Christen places her index finger over Tobin’s lips. The rush of blood to her head makes her jittery, but she can keep her finger in place, at least. “Don’t say anything else… I just need to… process”, but she doesn’t finish her sentence. Instead, she runs her finger down Tobin’s chin, leans in and brushes her lips against the brunette’s.</p><p>“Christen…”, Tobin whispers lowly. “Don’t kiss me if you don’t love me… if you’re not in love with me”.</p><p>The younger woman allows her thumb to run along Tobin’s lip before she closes the gap between them.</p><p>They kiss. Soft and unhurriedly at first. Tobin tastes like cough medicine and smells like the apple shampoo she uses. And she feels warm, maybe from her flu, maybe from the heat of the moment, maybe from the soft grey hoodie she has on. Christen holds onto her hoodie; onto her shoulders. She never wants this kiss to end, she never wants to let go of Tobin ever again.</p><p>But the brunette pulls back slightly and gives an apologetic smile. “You’ll get sick”.</p><p>“I don’t care”, Christen says and climbs into Tobin’s lap. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this”.</p><p>“Well, why didn’t you… you know… tell me?”, Tobin asks.</p><p>“You didn’t tell me either”, Christen counters with an arched brow. She looks so perfect staring down at Tobin that it made the brunette’s bones turn liquid.</p><p>“I was scared…”, Tobin says softly. “I didn’t think you’d feel the same and that I’d ruin our friendship if I told you”.</p><p>“You don’t have to worry about me not feeling the same. I love you, Tobin Heath… I love you so much”, she says and kisses Tobin again. The second kiss is even better, with Tobin wrapping her arms around Christen’s waist and pulling her even closer.</p><p>Tobin had no sense of taste or smell, but she could feel everything and Christen feels amazing. The weight of her body on Tobin’s was pleasing, the way her legs trapped Tobin on either side… it was perfect. But she gently pushes her away again.</p><p>“You really wanna risk getting sick?”, she asks.</p><p>“Yes, haven’t I made that abundantly clear by now?”, Christen asks. She places a kiss on Tobin’s cheek. “I love you”, she says again. “I love you so much”.</p><p>“I love you, too”.</p><p>“So…”, Christen says as she unmounts from Tobin, even though she was really enjoying sitting there. “Where do we go from here?”</p><p>“I’m not sure”, Tobin says and she all of a sudden feels shy, exposed almost.</p><p>“Maybe we should just take it slow? Take our time…”</p><p>“We’ve been taking it slow for fifteen years now, Chris”, Tobin says. “Let’s just… let’s just go for it. Let’s try”.</p><p>“What are we trying?”, Christen challenges.</p><p>“Dating… like, for real. We’ll still be us, we’ll just… kiss and hold hands and go out on dates”.</p><p>Christen wants to say yes, but she hesitates. The reality of the situation hits her – what if they don’t work out as a couple? What’ll happen to their marriage? The future they had planned together?</p><p>Tobin frowns. “Do you not want that?”, she asks.</p><p>“No, I… I do. I just don’t wanna…”</p><p>“Ruin everything we have now…”, Tobin finishes her sentence.</p><p>“Tobin… you have to understand… what we have now is perfect. We have a beautiful house that we’re turning into a home… we’re gonna have kids. What if we don’t work out as a couple? What happens then?”</p><p>Tobin buries her face in her hands and sighs. “You’re right. You’re right… we can’t date and ruin our marriage”.</p><p>“But I want you”, Christen says and holds onto Tobin’s arm. “Don’t think that I don’t want you, because I really do. I just want this life with you more than anything else”.</p><p>“I know”, Tobin says. “Me too”.</p><p>Christen sighs and lets go of Tobin’s arm. “So we’re just gonna live like this? In love but living as friends?”</p><p>“I guess”, Tobin finally says. “This sucks”. She leans back on the couch and stares up at the ceiling.</p><p>“Yeah, it really does”, Christen says with a sigh. She crawls up next to Tobin and rests her head on her chest.</p><p>--</p><p>Christen is busy pouring wine for everyone, chit-chatting with her mom and Cindy. She looks up when she hears her dad and Tobin laughing as they walk through the porch doors.</p><p>“That’s a great backyard, Tobin. Big enough to kick a ball around with a little one”.</p><p>“Yeah… We were actually hoping for a house with a tennis court, but our realtor couldn’t come through”, Tobin jokes.</p><p>“And that massive oak tree”, Jeff senior says. “Could build a tree house in there once the little ones come”.</p><p>“Yeah, maybe”, Tobin says. She smiles over at her wife. “Christen loves tree houses, don’t you honey?”</p><p>The doctor just smiles. “I’m gonna go check on dinner. Tobin, can you come give me a hand in the kitchen?”</p><p>“Of course”, she says and follows her wife into the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>“Honey?”, Christen asks as she opens the oven to check on the chicken.</p><p>“I want our parents to know we have a loving relationship”.</p><p>“I think you just wanted to call me honey”, Christen says and closes the oven door. “Chicken looks good”.</p><p>“It’s not the only thing that looks good”, Tobin says with a grin.</p><p>“I’m wearing jeans and a sweater”, Christen says and checks on the pistachio sauce.</p><p>“Um… I was talking about the chocolate roulade you made for dessert?”, Tobin explains and nods over to the counter where the dessert was sitting.</p><p>“Oh”, the younger woman says and hides her blush by turning and checking on the chicken again.</p><p>Tobin chuckles. “Can I help?”, she asks.</p><p>“You can add the pomegranate to the couscous”.</p><p>“On it”.</p><p>Tobin watches Christen carefully transfer the chicken from the pan to a serving plate. She really was made for this.</p><p>“You coping over there? I know it can be hard… adding fruit to couscous”, Christen jokes.</p><p>“You underestimate me”, Tobin says. “Check this out. Look how perfect this is”.</p><p>Christen checks the bowl and gives a nod of approval. “Looks decent”.</p><p>“Decent?”</p><p>“Take that out to the table and tell everybody to find a place to sit. I’ll be out with everything else in a sec”.</p><p>“Yes, ma’am”, Tobin says and winks at Christen.</p><p>Ever since they finally admitted how they feel about each other, and after the initial awkwardness, things had gone back to normal. Mostly.</p><p>They were still just best friends. There was nothing romantic about their relationship. They still slept in separate rooms, still didn’t kiss… But the energy in the house felt different. They didn’t have to hide the fact that they were attracted to each other anymore. Now, they just couldn’t act on that attraction and even though that in itself was hard, it was a lot easier than having to hide how they really feel about each other.</p><p>They could joke around like before, only now with lingering looks and shameless flirting. And Tobin loved the shameless flirting part.</p><p>--</p><p>After dinner, Christen serves dessert and homemade cappuccinos in the lounge. She sits next to Tobin, who’s digging into her dessert with a fork.</p><p>“Christen, you are a great baker. This is delicious”, Cindy says and takes another bite of the cake.</p><p>“Thanks, miss Cindy… I just follow the recipe”.</p><p>“You’re too modest”, Tobin says and nudges her wife’s shoulder. “You’re amazing”.</p><p>“Would you look at that blush”, Cody jokes at his daughter’s expense.</p><p>“Come on now, Cody, don’t tease Christen like that”, Stacy says.</p><p>Tobin laughs and puts an arm around Christen’s shoulder. “Ain’t she just the cutest”.</p><p>“Alright, thanks everyone”, Christen says and gets up from her seat. “Who wants seconds?”</p><p> </p><p>Christen tiptoes down the stairs and to the kitchen to make a cup of tea before bed. Her parents had gone home and Tobin’s mom and dad were sleeping in Tobin’s room. And since the third room didn’t have a bed in it, Tobin was going to have to sleep in bed with her. But she still hadn’t come up to the room and a part of Christen was down in the kitchen to check where she was.</p><p>She finds Tobin in the kitchen.</p><p>“What are you doing?”, she asks.</p><p>The brunette shrugs. “I thought I’d clean up here”.</p><p>“It’s not that messy. The plates are in the dishwasher, I wiped down and disinfected the counter…”</p><p>“I’m… cleaning the inside of the sink and the… floor”, Tobin says, not convincing at all.</p><p>Christen stands with her hands on her hips. “Tobin, it’s cold – come to bed”.</p><p><em>That sounds so inviting</em>, Tobin thinks. She gives an askew smile. “I’ll be up there in a few minutes. Just gotta check the… garage. I think I saw a mouse and I need to lay a mousetrap”.</p><p>“Tobin!”.</p><p>“Okay! I just… I know it’s gonna hurt, lying next to you… Not being able to kiss you or touch you”.</p><p>Christen reaches out and grabs a hold of Tobin’s cold hand. “Come to bed, please”.</p><p>“Okay”.</p><p> </p><p>Christen’s already in bed, reading something on her phone. Tobin walks out of the bathroom and slips in next to her wife.</p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>“Yeah… I don’t know why I was so nervous. We shared a bed on our honeymoon”.</p><p>“That was before you knew how I felt about you… That was before <em>I</em> knew how I felt about you”. Christen offers a smile. “It’s just one night”.</p><p>“I kinda wish it wasn’t…”</p><p>“Tobin, don’t…”, Christen pleads softly. “Don’t make this harder than it already is”.</p><p>Tobin nods and gives a small smile. “You’re right… We should sleep”.</p><p>Christen nods in agreement and the reaches out for her retainer. She puts it in and turns to Tobin when she catches her staring. “Don’t say anything”.</p><p>“I wasn’t gonna say anything”, Tobin laughs. “You look cute”.</p><p>“Really?”, she asks with the plastic and wire retainer already in her mouth.</p><p>Tobin bites down on her bottom lip to contain her smile. “Yeah”. She leans across and places a featherlight kiss on Christen’s lips. “My perfect wife”, she says and punctuates with another soft peck. “Goodnight”.</p><p>“Goodnight”, Christen says and grazes her hand along Tobin’s cheek.</p><p> </p><p>Christen falls asleep long before Tobin does. The brunette lays awake and looks up at the ceiling, hoping she gets another shot at this. Another chance to fall asleep next to the woman she loves.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">November</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>“It’s a good thing I dressed up because this place is really fancy. I had no idea and you didn’t even think to tell me”, Christen says as she pulls out her chair to sit.</p><p>“They don’t really care about dress codes and stuff like that. Plus, you’re a member now. They can’t kick you out”. Tobin takes her seat opposite Christen. “You’re driving home, right? I need a drink”.</p><p>“Yeah, go crazy”, Christen says with a smile. “I’m the designated driver tonight”.</p><p>Tobin has a small frown on her brow. “Now I feel bad, ‘cos you’re the one who just became a member of Shady Oaks, so you should be the one to drink tonight. I’ll drive home”.</p><p>“But you had to stay sober for Halloween”.</p><p>“Honestly, seeing you dressed up as Amy Santiago was more than enough for me”, Tobin says. “I’d stay sober for a year if it meant you’d wear that police uniform again”.</p><p>The doctor smiles and bites the inside of her lip. “I knew you secretly appreciated that costume”.</p><p>“What can I say? You make a really attractive cop”.</p><p>Christen smirks. “I kept the handcuffs, you know”.</p><p>Tobin clears her throat and looks away, trying to avoid eye contact with her wife. If Christen was going to be flirtatious tonight, maybe she <em>did </em>need a drink. She could flirt innocently and enjoy it, but whenever Christen does it, she was near losing her mind.</p><p>The waiter comes over and Christen quickly orders water for her and a scotch for Tobin before the brunette can say anything else. She raises her eyebrow once the waiter leaves the table.</p><p>“You’re ordering for me now?”</p><p>Christen shrugs. “Just being a considerate wife… besides, seemed like you needed a drink. You were looking kinda thirsty”.</p><p>“You’re mean”, Tobin says with a nervous laugh.</p><p>The waiter brings their drinks and Tobin immediately takes a sip of her drink. “So good”, she says and sighs a sigh of relief.</p><p>“So, now that I’m a member of this place, what kinda things can I do here?”, Christen asks, looking around the restaurant.</p><p>“Most members join because they wanna make use of the golf course, but if you’re not into that you can play tennis, squash or swim, I suppose. If you ever wanted to swim in an Olympic sized swimming pool”.</p><p>“I don’t like sports”.</p><p>“Well then you can probably make use of the five-star spa facilities. A lot of our less sporty members do that”, Tobin teases innocently.</p><p>“Now that sounds more like something I would enjoy”, Christen says and takes a sip of water. “We should get a couple’s massage”.</p><p>“I don’t know… I work here, so I don’t really wanna spend my downtime here, as well”.</p><p>“And yet you got me a membership”.</p><p>“Because it’s one of the perks of the job. I get a free membership and so does my spouse, if I have one and I do…”</p><p>“And that’s exactly why we should make use of it. I’ll book us for a couple massage next Saturday. It’ll be fun”.</p><p>“Alright”, Tobin says and opens and pages through the menu. “It could be fun”, she says and finishes her drink, beckoning the waiter over to order another.</p><p>--</p><p>“Tobin, you know it’s freezing, right? Where are you taking me?”, Christen asks as she allows Tobin to pull her into the inky darkness.</p><p>“I wanna show you where I work, now shush, we’re technically not supposed to be out here”. She fumbles with the lock on the gate that leads up to the tennis courts. Christen’s not sure what she does, but she manages to open the gate without a key.</p><p>“A little trick with the lock”, Tobin says and holds the gate open for her wife. Christen walks through, and she can make out a net in the dark, but that’s about it.</p><p>“Tobin, does this place have lights? It’s pretty dark out here”, Christen says and pulls her coat closer to her chest.</p><p>“Yeah, wait right here”, the brunette says and jogs over to umpire’s chair. She climbs up the steps, reaches the control panel and switches on one of the flood lights. At first it’s too bright, so she dims it a little and then climbs back down.</p><p>In the light, Christen can see a full-sized tennis court, in fact, there are two courts right next to each other.</p><p>“This is the length and breadth of my domain”, Tobin says with her arms outstretched to either side.</p><p>“Oh, is it?”, Christen says and smiles. Tobin’s a little tipsy right now, and she’s enjoying it. Tobin was a cute, goofy drunk.</p><p>The brunette nods. “I was the tennis girl… remember? When everyone at school called me that?”</p><p>“I remember”.</p><p>Tobin sighs and looks down at her ankle. “And then you decided to crap out on me, didn’t you? Fucked everything up”.</p><p>Christen’s face turns serious. Tobin very seldom spoke about her injury. Whenever she did, Christen made sure to listen closely and formulate the right response in her head before she spoke. It was a sensitive subject for Tobin, so she always dealt with it in a serious manner, even when Tobin was joking about it.</p><p>“But hey, at least I came back home and found you, right?”, Tobin says and looks up at Christen. “I missed you so much… But when I needed you the most, you were there for me”.</p><p>“Of course”, Christen says and takes a step closer to Tobin. “I’ll always be there for you”.</p><p>“Mm-hmm…”, Tobin says and reaches out to hold Christen’s hand. “You’re my north star… my constant”. She interlocks their fingers and brings Christen’s hand up to her lips to place a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I love you”.</p><p>“I love you back”, Christen says and trails a finger along Tobin’s jaw.</p><p>“I wish you loved me enough to want to be with me”, Tobin says and let’s go of Christen’s hand. The words shock the younger woman, but Tobin returns to her jovial demeanor like nothing’s wrong; like she didn’t just say something so emotive. “I wish we had rackets right now; you and me, one on one. See if all that yoga helps you play good tennis or not”, she says and laughs.</p><p>“It’s um… it’s getting late, Tobin. I think we should go home”, Christen says curtly.</p><p>“Yeah… you’re right. I’m kinda drunk”, she says and shakes her head. “I just wanted to bring you here, show you the place where I feel the most in control; most powerful”.</p><p>Christen can only offer a polite smile, her mind still mulling over what Tobin had said a minute ago.</p><p>“And it used to be my happy place but then… you became that happy place”, the brunette continues. She sighs and puts on the hood of her jacket. “Let’s go home”.</p><p> </p><p>The drive home is quiet. Tobin just leans against the window and traces her fingers along the glass. Christen’s too busy thinking about what Tobin had said on the court to say anything.</p><p>There’s no music playing either, just a solemn silence that the doctor can’t handle. She wishes she could say something that would ease the tension, something that would reassure Tobin about how strong her feelings were.</p><p>“I do love you, Tobin. A lot. I don’t ever want you to think otherwise. You’re… you’re it for me”, she says and quickly glances over at the woman in the front seat. “I love you”.</p><p>“Nope”, Tobin says and shakes her head. She turns towards Christen and pokes at her shoulder. “You love the idea of me… you love the idea of me more than you love me”.</p><p>“That’s not true”, Christen quickly counters. “You don’t actually believe that, do you?”</p><p>Tobin shrugs. “You love the stability, the promise of a co-parent, the companionship… but you don’t love me, Christen. And that’s okay… I’ll learn to live with that because I want to see you be happy more than anything else in the world”.</p><p>Christen feels a lump forming in her throat, and she tries to swallow it down, but it doesn’t go away. She wants to tell Tobin that’s not true, but she knows she won’t believe her. Why would she? What’s Christen ever done to suggest otherwise? All she’s done was force Tobin into a meaningless marriage (and maybe, subconsciously, she knew Tobin was never going to turn her down and that’s why she suggested it in the first place).</p><p>And then, after Tobin’s brave enough to tell her that she’s in love with her, she turns around and says they shouldn’t date because it could potentially ruin her own perfect little suburban dream life.</p><p>She was selfish – plain and simple. And a sober Tobin would never tell her that because she’s too nice.</p><p>--</p><p>The next morning Christen’s up early to mediate. Afterwards she takes a shower and gets started with breakfast. Tobin finds her in the kitchen.</p><p>“Good morning”, Tobin says as she makes her way to the kitchen.</p><p>“Hey”.</p><p>“D’you sleep well?”</p><p>“Yeah”.</p><p>Tobin sighs as she pours herself a glass of milk. “I wasn’t completely wasted last night… I know I said some shitty stuff to you and I’m sorry”.</p><p>Christen looks up from the bowl of eggs she was beating. “<em>You’re</em> sorry?”</p><p>“Yeah? I was out of line”.</p><p>“Tobin…”, Christen sighs. “I haven’t been… I haven’t been treating you well at all. Not as a wife and certainly not as a best friend. I’ve been using you… You were right. And I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you in anyway”.</p><p>“I was too sensitive… I shouldn’t have said the things that I said to you. I know you love me… I didn’t mean to guilt trip you into changing your mind about the whole dating thing”.</p><p>“That’s not what you did… You made me realize that I was being selfish… picking and choosing what I want from you and that was wrong”. She picks at a tear threatening to roll down her cheek. “I wanted everything you could give me, but I also want you. I wanna be with you. I wanna be all in with you”.</p><p>Tobin smiles. “That’s all I want, too. And I know you’re worried that it might not work out and ruin everything, but it can also work perfectly… there’s always that chance, right?”</p><p>Christen moves to the other side of the counter and pulls Tobin in for a hug, squeezing her tightly. “You’re too good for me”.</p><p>Tobin laughs. “We’re good for each other”. She leans in and gives Christen a quick kiss on the lips as they unclasp from their hug. “So does this mean you’re willing to try dating? Dating <em>me</em>, specifically?”</p><p>“You, specifically and exclusively”, Christen says and places a soft kiss on Tobin’s lips.</p><p>“Do you have any idea how happy you’re making right now?”, Tobin asks with a beaming smile. “Can I kiss you?”</p><p>Christen snakes her arms around Tobin’s neck. “Please”, she exhales and eagerly awaits Tobin’s lips.</p><p>--</p><p>A quaint little bistro with a fireplace in the corner and a reputation of making the best hot chocolate in the city, seemed like the perfect first date in the middle of winter.</p><p>Tobin and Christen both order the famous chocolate-y beverages.</p><p>“It’s really nice and toasty in here, isn’t it?”, Christen says as she shrugs off her jacket and then takes off her scarf.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s real cosy. And kinda of romantic with all these fairy lights”, Tobin notes.</p><p>Christen smirks and casually asks, “Would you say you’re a very romantic person?”</p><p>“I can be… I think”, Tobin says with a small shrug. “I don’t really know what your definition of romantic is, but…”</p><p>“Romance is objective”, Christen states.</p><p>“No, it’s subjective”.</p><p>“No, it’s categorically objective, that’s why the romance genre exists within different types of media. Romance novels and films all have the same or similar traits because romance as a concept is objective”, Christen says and is very pleased with her eloquent counterpoint.</p><p>Tobin scoffs and shakes her head. “Romance can mean different things to different people, thus making it the totally subjective”.</p><p>“You’re wrong”.</p><p>“And you’re an idiot, idiot”, Tobin says and gently kicks Christen’s shin under the table. The younger woman kicks back.</p><p>“You’re the idiot”.</p><p>“You put on a coat, a jacket, a scarf and a beanie… like an idiot”, Tobin says with a chuckle. "It's not even that cold".</p><p>Christen pressed her lips together to keep from smiling, but then shook her head. “We’re supposed to be on a date… we can’t act like best friends… we have to be… adoring and loving”.</p><p>“You’re probably right…” Tobin straightens her posture and clears her throat. “So… Christen”, she says in a serious tone of voice. “I love the dress you’re wearing, really brings out the little flecks of grey in your eyes”.</p><p>Christen gives her wife a bemused look and stifles a laugh. “What the hell?”</p><p>“Dude, I don’t know… It’s you!”, Tobin says and shrugs. “You’re just like… you’re you and I’m me… I didn't think it would be this weird. Like, we flirt all the time, why is it so hard to do it now?”</p><p>Christen smiles and reaches over to place her hand on top of Tobin’s. “When we used to flirt we were just kinda playing around… Now it’s real and that makes it a little awkward”.</p><p>“I guess…”</p><p>“We’ll get the hang of it”, Christen promises in a sweet and reassuring tone of voice. </p><p>"And just change years of this dynamic? We're so used to it", Tobin says and taps her fingers on the table. "I mean, I love you and everything but I can't just treat you differently all of sudden...", Tobin sighs with a shrug. "Why does everything have to be so hard?"</p><p>"Tobin... relax", Christen says and gives her wife's hand a squeeze. "We'll figure it out together".</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For their second date, Christen suggests going on a walk through Old Town. There were quirky restaurants and interesting little stores. It’s also close to a lovely park where people often brought their children or their dates. Luscious green grass and a pond that sparkled when the last of the sun’s rays fell on it, it was the perfect setting toe nd off a perfect day.</p><p>Christen enjoys walking hand in hand with Tobin along the path right next to the pond. Tobin’s talking about something, but Christen’s too busy taking in her wife’s floral scent and how warm her hoodie feels against her cheek whenever she rested her head on Tobin’s shoulder.</p><p>“You wanna sit for a little bit?”, Tobin then asks, stopping at an empty park bench.</p><p>“Yes, please”, Christen says. She joins Tobin on the bench and puts the shopping bags she was carrying down next to her.</p><p>“It’s pretty cold. Maybe I should’ve put on jacket or something”, Tobin says, pulling at the strings of her black hoodie. “You were right”.</p><p>“I’m always right… you just need to start listening to me”, Christen says and places a quick kiss on Tobin’s cheek. “If you’re cold, we can just go home. I’ll make you a nice cup of tea”.</p><p>“No, no… I’ll be fine”, Tobin says and plays with the curls of Christen’s hair. “Today was fun”.</p><p>“It was”.</p><p>“I can’t believe this is our second date, feels like I’ve known you forever”, the older woman jokes.</p><p>Christen smiles and takes Tobin’s hand in hers. “Is it too soon to say I love you?”</p><p>“Wow! You love me already? Next thing I know you’re gonna wanna move in”, she says and plays with the emerald ring on Christen’s finger. “I think we’re moving too fast here, miss”.</p><p>“Miss?”, Christen asks with an arched eyebrow.</p><p>“Oh, sorry, I meant doctor”.</p><p>The younger woman shakes her head in the negative. “See these?”, she asks hand holds up her hand to show off her rings. “I’m a married woman”.</p><p>Tobin laughs heartily. “Yes, Mrs Press-Heath”, she says and places a kiss on the back on Christen’s hand.</p><p>“I’m glad we’re getting used to this… being romantic and kissing. I don’t want us to be awkward around each other on these dates”.</p><p>Tobin nods in agreement. “I know it’s gonna take a little bit of time, but we’re doing a lot better than already”.</p><p>Christen then furrows her brow. “Have you thought about… us, you and I, having sex?”</p><p>Tobin’s eyes widen and she can feel her ears heating up and turning red.</p><p>“I mean, not to be forward or anything but… you know, we’re grown-ups, we can have this kind of conversation, right?”</p><p>The brunette nods carefully. “I suppose”.</p><p>“I just thought that… we should have a discussion about being intimate… so that we know whether or not we’re on the same page”.</p><p>“And what page are you on?”</p><p>Christen carefully bites at the inside of her lower lip. “I’d like to have sex with you”.</p><p>Tobin swallows hard and rubs the back of her neck.</p><p>“Are you not… on that page yet?”, Christen asks.</p><p>“No, no, no… I want that, too”, Tobin says quickly. “But maybe we should wait a while. Maybe go on a few more dates, maybe let it progress naturally”.</p><p>Christen nods and smiles. “You’re right. It’ll happen when it happens”.</p><p>“Exactly”, Tobin says and places another quick kiss on Christen’s lips.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p>Late in November, while Christen and Tobin are arguing over what brand of peanut butter to buy, Christen’s phone vibrates. She answers and it’s Servando, informing them that Alex had given birth a few hours ago.</p><p>“Oh my, really? The baby’s here?”, Christen says.</p><p>“What? I thought Alex’s due date wasn’t until next week”, Tobin asks, but she’s quickly shushed by Christen’s finger pressed over her lips.</p><p>“We’re free, we’ll be there as soon as possible. Okay, bye and congratulations”. Christen hangs up. “We need to finish up here, we have like, forty minutes until visiting hours are over”.</p><p>“But I wanted to see the baby”, Tobin whines.</p><p>“That’s why we need to finish up here and go to the hospital, come on”, Christen says and puts the brand of peanut butter she was advocating for in the cart and pushes it away before Tobin can protest.</p><p>--</p><p>“I love babies, but I hate hospitals”, Tobin says as she shrugs off her jacket as they enter the house.</p><p>“One day I’m gonna give birth and you’re gonna have to be there”, Christen says with a smile. “How’s that gonna go?”</p><p>“Honestly? I might pass out”, Tobin says and walks to the kitchen.</p><p>“That’s very reassuring”.</p><p>“I mean, we could always adopt. That way no one has to give birth or pass out”, Tobin says and opens a bottle of water.</p><p>“That’s an option”. Christen starts looking through the fridge, trying to figure out what she wants to make for dinner. “Do you think we need to have this discussion right now or can it wait?”</p><p>“I don’t know, it’s pretty important, but if I’m honest…”, the brunette shrugs. “…right now I just wanna focus on us. This relationship is still so new and I want us to be settled before we start talking about kids”.</p><p>Christen nods in agreement. “You’re right. Let’s just work on us for now and when we feel like it’s the right time, we can talk about starting a family”.</p><p>“I’m glad we’re on the same page”, Tobin says and drinks some water. “But how cute is Charlie?”</p><p>“She’s too precious, I love her already”, Christen says with a beaming smile. “And I gotta admit, seeing you cooing over her like that was kind of incredibly hot”.</p><p>Tobin smiles shyly. “What can I say? I like babies”.</p><p>“You’re gonna be a great mom”, Christen says earnestly.</p><p> “Thanks, Chris… You, too. We’re gonna be awesome parents”. She walks over, pulls Christen in for a quick hug and then places a kiss on her forehead. “I’m gonna take a shower and get the smell of hospital off of me. When I’m done, maybe I could help you with dinner?”</p><p>“Stop being so sweet, my heart can’t take it”, Christen says and places a quick peck on Tobin’s lips.</p><p>Christen was loving dimension to their relationship. She loves being able to kiss Tobin when she wants, hug her and hold her when she’s starved of that contact. Sure, she wishes things progressed a little quicker. She hoped they would at least be sleeping in the same room by now, but Tobin thought it would be better if they didn’t. Christen’s a patient woman, especially if the thing she’s waiting for is worth it and being in an intimate relationship with Tobin certainly was… but she wasn’t going to wait another fifteen years. And she couldn’t either, not when her wife was equal parts sweet and sexy like this.</p><p> </p><p>Tobin finds Christen in the kitchen, changed from her work clothes into black yoga pants and an oversized Stanford sweater. It’s evident from her still damp hair that she had also taken a shower and Tobin gets a little nervous; she always found Christen particularly irresistible right after a shower, when she smelled of flowers and her skin was cool and soft and her hair curled naturally. She’s on her toes busy looking through the cupboards for something.</p><p>“You’re supposed to be the tall one and you can’t even reach the top shelf?”, Tobin teases.</p><p>“I found what I was looking for”, Christen says and holds out the can of tomato puree. “I thought we could make pizza”.</p><p>“The New Jerseyan in me can’t ever say no to cheese and carbs, so…”</p><p>“You know you’re not Italian, right?”, Christen teases and turns on the stove. “Grab an apron and start cutting up the chorizo. When you’re done with that, you can start grating the cheese”.</p><p>“Damn”, Tobin says, feigning being slighted by Christen’s demanding tone of voice. “Yes chef”.</p><p>“What? You said you wanted to help”, Christen says and walks over to the wine rack.</p><p>“When I said ‘help’, I didn’t mean I’ll do everything while you order me around like this is an episode of Hell’s Kitchen”, Tobin says while tying the apron.</p><p>“You’re so dramatic!”, Christen says with a sigh. She pours two glasses of red wine and hands Tobin one. “I heard manual labour can leave you a little parched, you better drink up”.</p><p>“Thanks, I guess”, Tobin says with a cheeky smile and takes a small sip of Lambrusco. “I love how you’re just standing around while I do everything- this is exactly the sort of teamwork our marriage is built on”.</p><p>“Yeah, we’re thriving as a couple”, Christen teases over her glass of wine. She laughs when Tobin just rolls her eyes and finishes up slicing the chorizo. “Look, when it comes to actual cooking, I’ll take the reins. But when it’s something simple like pizza, it’s good for you to work on your cooking skills. We can’t have you doing the hard stuff just yet”.</p><p>“You’re mean”, Tobin says without much malice. “I made that ravioli for you and it came out great”.</p><p>“It came out… good”.</p><p>“You asked for seconds!</p><p>“I was hungry”, Christen says with a small shrug. “Now come, you still have a lot of prep work to do”.</p><p>Once Tobin is done with all the slicing and grating, Christen adds the chopped up garlic to the tomato puree, which she had in saucepan with a bundle of sage and rosemary and a glug of olive oil. The kitchen was starting to smell really good.</p><p>“All the sauce needs is a little bit of salt and maybe a dash of cayenne and we are good to go”, Christen notes and reaches across the counter for the salt.</p><p>“And maybe a little sugar to offset the acidity”, Tobin says and it garners a look from her wife.</p><p>“I never put sugar in my tomato sauce”.</p><p>“Everyone knows you add a little sugar to tomatoes to balance it out”, Tobin counters.</p><p>“Oh wow… I see we’ve got an expert in today”, Christen states and crosses her arms. “Must be all that <em>authentic </em>Italian pizza you ate growing up in the suburbs of Trenton”.</p><p>“Well, I’m sure not as knowledgeable on pizza as you, seeing as you grew up in Rome… oh right, you didn’t. The closest you got to Italy was Venice Beach”, Tobin challenges with her arms crossed, too.</p><p>Christen wants to laugh, but she tries her hardest not to, biting at her bottom lip. She takes a step closer to her wife. “Now you’re the mean one. That was uncalled for”.</p><p>“You started it”, Tobin states matter-of-factly.</p><p>She only then realises that there was almost no space in between them; that Christen’s body was so close to hers that she could feel her body heat radiate off of her. And she could smell her – sweet and intoxicating.</p><p>Christen snakes an arm around Tobin’s waist. “Do you want me to finish it, too?”</p><p>The brunette gulps and gives a quick nod.</p><p>“We seem to have some lingering tension…”, the doctor says and trails her index finger along Tobin’s plump lower lip. “I mean, it’s the only way you can explain all these little squabbles we’ve been having lately… the one at the restaurant on our first date… the one in the car the other day when you kept skipping all the songs I like…”</p><p>“You have terrible taste in music”, Tobin interjects.</p><p>“The point is”, Christen continues. “… this hostility, however playful it may seem, is because we’re both a little… frustrated”.</p><p>“Oh”, Tobin says and clears her throat.</p><p>“Exactly”, Christen says and leans forward to kiss her wife on the lips. It’s only a peck, but it makes Tobin’s insides buzz and leaves her feeling grateful that she’s stood with her back against the counter because kissing Christen always tilted her world just a little bit off its axles.</p><p>“S-so, how do we fix this?”, the brunette asks.</p><p>“I think”, Christen begins and then gives Tobin another kiss. “…the best way to get rid of sexual tension is to have sex”.</p><p>“Right”, Tobin says and carefully places her hands on Christen’s hips. “Makes sense”.</p><p>“So tonight, after dinner… I thought we could retire to my bedroom and… not sleep”. Christen leans in and gives Tobin a proper kiss this time. She first bites at Tobin’s lower lip before capturing it between hers.</p><p>Tobin lets out a soft moan, but then gently nudges Christen off of her. “Gimme a second to breathe, damn”, she says with a chuckle.</p><p>“I’m sorry”, Christen says and she can feel her face redden and heat up from the blush. “It’s easy to get carried away when I’m kissing you”.</p><p>“Don’t apologize…I love kissing you and I especially love it when you kiss me like <em>that</em>”, Tobin says and gives Christen a peck on the cheek. “As for the um, sex… I think we should hold off a little”. She gives an apologetic smile. “And don’t even get it into your head that I don’t wanna sleep with you because I really do”, she continues. “I just wanna take things slow for now”.</p><p>Christen sighs and nods. “You’re right… I’m sorry if I was being forward. I shouldn’t have brought it up”.</p><p>Tobin places a gentle kiss on Christen’s lips. “Taking things slow doesn’t meant it won’t ever happen”, she says and cups her wife’s face. “I love you and I want you, in every sense of the word”.</p><p>“I know”, Christen says and rests her head Tobin’s shoulder. “I know a few weeks ago you said let’s wait for it to progress naturally and you were right”.</p><p>“It’ll happen, I promise”, Tobin says and kisses her on the temple. “Now let’s finish up here, okay? I’m starving”.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">December</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>The shops were decorated with red and green and there was tinsel everywhere; Christmas season was in full effect and Tobin was in her element; it was her favourite time of the year. She loves everything about the holidays. Whenever December rolled around, she was in a decidedly better mood.</p><p>Christen’s into the whole holiday cheer energy her wife has, especially since seeing Tobin happy and excited is her favourite thing in the world.</p><p>The couple do most of their Christmas shopping online, but Tobin thought it would be fun if they went to a store and just walked around, exploring and hopefully coming across something cute that they could buy for one of their friends or family members.</p><p>“I know people get annoyed at it, but I love when stores play the same tired Christmas songs over and over again”, Tobin says and picks up book up from the shelf.</p><p>“Is there anything you <em>don’t</em> like about Christmas?”, Christen asks.</p><p>“Well”, Tobin says, paging through the second-hand book. “I don’t like that your birthday is only a couple of days after Christmas because that means I have to buy you two gifts…”</p><p>“You always buy one and give it to me on the 26<sup>th</sup>, which yes, annoyed me at first, but now I think it’s cute”.</p><p>“You were annoyed by the ‘late Christmas early birthday’ present?”, Tobin asks with a furrowed brow.</p><p>“At first I thought you were just being an idiot, but then I realised just how special it was”, the doctor says and links her arm with Tobin’s. “You’re the only person who does that and I love it”.</p><p>“You sure? Because I can always just buy two gifts and-”</p><p>“Tobin, I don’t care about gifts or birthdays or whatever… All I want is you”.</p><p>“You mean all you want for <em>Christmas</em> is me?”, the brunette says and winks.</p><p>“Sure”, Christen says and drags Tobin away from the bookshelves. “Let’s go; we still have a lot of stores to get to today”.</p><p> </p><p>After a long afternoon of shopping, they find themselves in a coffee shop, which seemed to double as a bar at night. It was an interesting place; industrial looking, but still warm and cosy.</p><p>Christen rests her head on her palm and smiles at Tobin, who was reading the menu with great concentration. The brunette catches her staring and gives her a confused look.</p><p>“Is everything okay?”</p><p>The younger woman nods. “Everything’s perfect”.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?”</p><p>“Oh, you know, life”.</p><p>“Well, that’s very profound”, Tobin teases. “Come on, tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours”.</p><p>Christen sighs with a smile and sits back in her chair. “I just never thought we’d be here, happily married, secretly dating. It’s crazy how this year turned out, isn’t it?”</p><p>Tobin nods. “Yeah… At the start of the year, I was so lost and I felt so alone. I mean, I had you but I didn’t really <em>have</em> you”. She nervously taps her fingers on the table. “I’m just really glad that we finally got together. It’s kinda wild how much time we wasted when we could’ve been together this whole time”.</p><p>“I know”, Christen adds softly. “But I don’t regret all those years of friendship because it saved me so many times”.</p><p>“Saved us both”, Tobin says and runs her thumb along the back of Christen’s hand. “I love you so much, I don’t think I can ever put it into words”.</p><p>“You don’t have to”, Christen reassures her. She has a warm smile on her face. “I like to think that I know you well enough to know how you really feel. I know you love me, Tobin. And I love you, too”.</p><p>--</p><p>“Stop fiddling with the tree, it looks great”, Christen calls out and pokes her wife in the side with a roll of wrapping paper.</p><p>“Are you sure? It’s our first Christmas tree and I want it to be perfect”, Tobin says innocently and readjusts a little gold ornament.</p><p>“Just because it’s our first one, doesn’t mean it has to be perfect”, Christen says and then nods over to the fireplace. “Put some more wood on the fire, please”.</p><p>“Yes, ma’am”, Tobin says and does as she’s told. She’s quickly back on the carpet next to Christen. “How many gifts do you still need to wrap?”</p><p>“Two, I think”, Christen says and sighs. “But I can finish up tomorrow”.</p><p>“Good idea”, Tobin says and reaches towards to two glasses of sherry on the coffee table. She hands one of the glasses to Christen, who gratefully accepts. “I love that I can hear the rain falling down on the roof and the fire crackling”, the older woman says.</p><p>“Right? Makes it feel like we’re in a cabin in the woods”, Christen says and finishes her wine.</p><p>“You want me to take you to the woods again?”, Tobin asks and pulls Christen into her lap. “I know you really enjoyed it the last time”, she says and places a soft kiss on her base of her throat.</p><p>“Oh, okay”, Christen says and giggles. She wraps her legs around Tobin’s waist and moves her hands along Tobin’s arms. “The last time you took me out to the woods, you really should’ve made your move”.</p><p>“If I had, what would you have done?”, Tobin asks lowly.</p><p>“I would’ve done this”. Christen tilts Tobin’s head up a little so she can kiss her. It starts out soft and slow, but soon it’s hurried, a little careless, a little sloppy.</p><p>They only pull apart when they need to breath properly. Tobin runs a hand through her hair and gives the woman straddling her a once-over. “You really would’ve kissed me like that on our honeymoon?”</p><p>Christen smirk. “Maybe not like that, but I definitely wouldn’t have rejected you and I certainly wouldn’t have kicked you outta bed”.</p><p>Tobin manages to crack a smile, despite her increased heartbeat and the warm sensation in her stomach. She’s only had a couple of drinks tonight, so she doesn’t understand why her head’s spinning like she’s drunk. “You wanted me even back then?”</p><p>Christen blushes and nods. “I think the first time I wanted you was that night when you proposed… I wanted to grab you and kiss you and never let you go”.</p><p>“Wow, you give a girl a ring once and she wants to jump your bones”, Tobin jokes and kisses away the mock annoyed look on Christen’s face. “I’m kidding, baby. I’m only kidding”, she croons softly against the pulse point by Christen’s neck. She places a quick peck there before finding her wife’s lips again.</p><p>She kisses Christen hard and fast and she gets drunk off the taste of sherry on her wife’s lips. She only loosens her grip on Christen’s sweater when she pulls away.</p><p>“Were there ever times when you really wanted me? Before you admitted your feelings to me?”, Christen asks.</p><p>Tobin looks up into her darkened eyes; so full of hunger and thirst for something Tobin knows only she could give her. She nods slowly, eyes trailing down towards Christen’s bruised lips. “That night of the engagement party, when I made you wear that red dress… the one that showed off your incredible body”, Tobin shakes her head. “I really wanted to sleep with you that night, even if I couldn’t even admit it to myself”.</p><p>“I remember that night”, Christen says, splaying her hands along the front of Tobin’s hoodie. “Everyone complimenting me; telling me how great I looked, but the one person I wanted to impress didn’t say word”.</p><p>Tobin gives a sheepish smile. “I know, and I’m sorry. If I was brave enough that night I would’ve told you that you were the most gorgeous woman in the world”. She gives Christen a quick peck on the lips. “And you still are; you’ll always be”.</p><p>“Better late than never, I suppose”, Christen jokes and slides down Tobin’s chest. “I know it’s still a few days before Christmas, but I wanted to give you a little present”.</p><p>Tobin twists a strand of Christen’s curly hair around her finger. “What is it?”</p><p>“I’ll let you unwrap it”, Christen says and pulls up the hem of her sweater, exposing flat stomach. Tobin catches her drift and pulls the sweater over her head, revealing the deep red plunge bra with black lace that Christen was wearing.</p><p>“Wow”, Tobin says, keeping her eyes locked on Christen’s chest. “This is my gift?”.</p><p>“One half of it”, Christen says silkily, leaning down to kiss her wife again.</p><p>The very tip of Tobin’s tongue glides over her lower lip. She wants Christen, right here and now. She grabs Christen by the waist, placing a kiss on her chest, right in between her breasts. “Can I lay you down?”, she asks.</p><p>“Yes please”, Christen says.</p><p>Tobin rises to her knees and then carefully lays Christen down on the carpet, on her back. She takes in her half exposed body as she hovers above her. “May I?”, she asks, her thumbs hooking the waistband of her wife’s soft sweatpants.</p><p>Christen nods. “I want you to”.</p><p>“Are you sure?”, Tobin asks again.</p><p>“Yes”, Christen breathes out.</p><p>Tobin swallows hard and then gently tugs off Christen’s pants. She has on matching panties, complete with lacy garters.</p><p>“Chris…”, Tobin murmurs as she trails her fingers along the curve of Christen’s hip. She rests her hand on her thigh. “…you look amazing”.</p><p>“Thank you”, Christen says with a smirk.</p><p>Tobin leans down and gives her a peck on lips. “You just happened to have this on underneath?”</p><p>“I may have put it on, hoping you’d follow my lead”.</p><p>“Oh”, Tobin says and reaches for a throw pillow to put under Christen’s head. “So, your plan was to seduce me tonight?”</p><p>Christen sits up and pulls at the string of Tobin’s hoodie. “Yes, and I’d like to think that I was successful”.</p><p>Tobin chuckles and pulls her hoodie over her head. She throws it to the side and leans into kiss Christen again. “The things I wanna do to you right now”, she says and then shakes her head. “Are you sure you wanna do this? We don’t have to”.</p><p>“Tobin”, Christen says, crossing her arms. “I don’t think I can be more obvious”. She snakes an arm around Tobin’s neck and pulls her in for a quick kiss. “Please fuck me?”, she asks sweetly.</p><p>The brazenness of her request makes Tobin smile. “Alright”, she says and nudges Christen down again, this time her head rests on a pillow Tobin had put down for her.</p><p>The brunette trails soft kisses from Christen’s neck, down to her belly button. She suddenly stops and Christen’s quickly hunched on her elbows so see why Tobin’s not kissing her anymore.</p><p>“I just…”, the older woman says and runs a hand through her hair. “…I wanna do this right. Let me take you to bed”.</p><p>Christen gives a sincere smile and cups Tobin’s face with her hand. “Then take me to bed”.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>